Here is some gritty truth; I struggle with this time of year. While the natural world takes advantage of the diminished light and curls up to restore itself through rest, humankind is barraged by exercise videos, diet plans, tightened budgets, and all manner of reminders of how we are not enough. In essence, I find January to be a month of judgement. During these dark days, I feel bereft, like I’ve lost my light, the one I depend on to let me know I am OK. Sadly, I do this to myself, focusing on goals not achieved, on my clothing size, credit card debt…just about everything you can pick at yourself for, and ensure an excruciatingly unobjective self-evaluation. Can you relate?
Objectivity is hard to maintain...
Judgment does this, particularly self-judgement. Objectivity is hard to maintain when there are prompts everywhere pointing to what you might lack – as a species we are wired to compare ourselves, our circumstances, and our results, to those of others. It’s an act of self-preservation that was much needed when millennia ago we had to fight to ensure scarce resources (like food and water) were shared fairly within the tribe, but now in a digital age asserts itself as FOMO, comparison and shame.
...you are more than your perceived flaws.
Objectivity is an easy concept, but a difficult practice; yet one that gives us access to self-love. Objectivity has the power to elevate your strengths, the things you have in hand that support your light, your fight, your well-being and your amazing potential. It is all inside of you, perhaps right now it is hibernating as nature intends. Wake it up. It is time to be more than fair to yourself, to hear the self-judgment and to assert your objectivity in the face of it – you are more than your perceived flaws.
Gratitude keeps you in touch with all the ways you have, and are, enough.
Gratitude is a path that provides clear-headed and objective thoughts about who you are, empowering you to move from a place of what you have, rather than what you think you are missing. Introspection is a brave and necessary act, but it often looks at the past – a place you cannot alter or change. Within the acknowledgement and acceptance of your deficiencies are the bones of your strength (“I may not be where I want to be…yet”). Listen, learn, accept (without judgment) to understand how you identify yourself is core to your way of being. Gratitude keeps you in touch with all the ways you have, and are, enough. Seek this light inside of you in these darker days, and you will feel your strength hold you, supporting you while you continue to become the truest, most whole version of yourself.
“i hope that in twenty-twenty you become fluent in self-love. i hope that this time next year you know your worth like it’s your mother tongue.” s.r.w.