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Triggers At Work

It happened.  Again.

Every one of us has triggers; those things that happen and make us feel strong emotions (and not the welcome ones).  Triggers are often associated with trauma, but can exist in many circumstances (including at work).  A trigger can pop up where you least expect one, which makes it hard to be your best self. 

This will help.


What triggered you?

Naming your trigger is empowering.

Naming lets you acknowledge what you are feeling, and to do so without self-judgment.  You can't help being triggered, no one wants to feel this way.  Naming your trigger is the first step.

Your human operating system will have you do three things with a trigger:

THINK. FEEL. ACT.
It looks like this:
Trigger: Needy co-worker heading towards you.
  • Think: "Crap, here comes Sam again, what does he need now? I don't have time to hold his hand through this - he should just know how to do it!"
  • Feel: Anger, frustration, judgment.
  • Act: Cold, distant, which may even include being short with Sam, or outright refusing to start a conversation; "Look Sam, I don't have time to talk to you right now."
Consider re-sequencing your Think. Feel. Act.

No shame-baths!

This is about having the courage to be honest, with yourself. There is no shame in that (in fact, it's a way to feed your potential).  Despite how your trigger sequence may make you feel, you are a good person. You wake up each morning with the intention to be your best self, but along the way life happens. Want to know how to stay your best self when faced with a trigger?

It's simple, re-arrange the sequence from Think. Feel. Act. to:

Feel. Think. Act.
Putting Feel before Think is all it takes to give yourself options, and it looks like this:
Trigger: Needy co-worker heading towards you.
  • Feel: Anger, frustration, judgment (name your feelings)
  • Think: "I am not in a place to give Sam the time he needs right now, my own deadlines are freaking me out - I need to focus on my own work."
  • Act: Clear AND compassionate "Hi Sam, I would like to help you, but right now I am on a deadline and I can't do your request justice. Please book some time in my calendar later this week so I can give you my full attention."

You get what you need, and Sam has the option of booking time with you later (or seeing if someone else can help him now).

A subtle but helpful shift.

When you acknowledge to yourself how you feel, you are better able to action what you need, while taking into consideration the feelings of the other person. Self-compassion is key because when we give to ourselves first, we have more compassion for others, which is all part of being your best self.
I didn't create Think. Feel. Act. The brilliant minds at Six Seconds (an emotional intelligence company) did. Here is a link to learn more.

Often, little situations trigger enormous reactions.
Be there, present for it.

- Eckhart Tolle

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  • Work With Carleen
    • About Carleen
    • Career Strategy Session >
      • Get The Most Out Of Your Career Strategy Session
    • Podcasts
    • Coaching Programs >
      • Lead with Impact
      • Career Impact
      • Purpose to Impact
      • Recognize Your Leadership Potential >
        • Welcome to Recognizing Your Leadership Potential
      • Realize Your High Potential
      • The Art of Influence at Work
      • Your Time By Design
      • Assessment
    • Book Me To Speak >
      • Persuasive at Work
      • Workshops That Work >
        • Getting Hybrid Right
        • Leading a Hybrid Team Workshop
        • Communicating Comfortably in a Hybrid Setting Workshop
        • Finding Your Leadership Compass Hybrid Teams Workshop
        • Communicating Comfortably in a Virtual Setting Workshop
        • Leading in Ambiguity Workshop
        • Accomplishing Work Through Others Workshop
        • My Values Driven Workplace Workshop
        • Working Successfully From Home Workshop
        • Working Resilience
        • The Many Faces of Unconscious Bias Workshop
        • Building A Culture of Trust Workshop
        • Finding Your Leadership Compass Workshop
        • Foundational Conversations Workshop
        • Conscious Conversations Workshop
        • Purpose Driven Feedback Workshop
        • Dynamic Team Communication Workshop
    • Awards
  • Client Stories
  • Blog
  • Testimonials
  • Free Resources
    • Summer Serenity Inspiration Guide
    • Working Life Wellbeing Assessment
    • Hidden Habits Holding You Back
    • Secrets to Boost Your Job Security
    • Working Life Serenity
    • Virtual Influence
    • Hello Monday Videos
    • Career Resources
    • Life Practices >
      • I Feel Angry
      • I Feel Stuck
      • I Am Overwhelmed
      • I Need Self-Compassion
      • Emotions At Work
      • Mindfulness
      • Triggers At Work
      • Naming Emotions
      • I Feel Frustrated
    • Balancing Time Workbook
    • Working Life Persona Quiz
    • Career Health Quiz
    • Healthy Boundaries Quiz
  • Referral Partners
  • Connect
  • Subscribe
  • The Career Edit