What To Do With Unwanted Emotions?

Emotions are happening to us all the time (whether we want them to or not).  It’s part of the human condition, and while many of us may say we are really good at compartmentalizing or managing our emotions, that still means we are experiencing them – they don’t go anywhere.

Let’s be honest, we’re talking about the emotions we don’t want, the unhappy, anxious, stress-inducing, angry, edgy, verge-of-tears type of emotions that no one wants to express publicly (or sometimes even privately).  We welcome the happy ones; they are so much easier to manage!  We feel we have more control over their expression, or, if we are really happy, excited, pleased, joyous, etc. the folks around us will be more accepting of seeing, even sharing, these emotions with us.

Our first hurdle is that we label emotions as either bad or good – like there is a “lower class” of feelings that really don’t deserve expression.  Emotions are actually neither positive nor negative, it is our belief system, and the interpretation of our emotions through beliefs, that bring into play this “good/bad” bias.  Emotions are simply a call to action, a way to get our attention when it needs to be directed towards something important.

So, what to do with those unwanted emotions that have a way of surfacing when we least expect it, or want them to?  Here is a guide to help you out:

“It would be impossible to estimate how much time and energy we invest in trying to fix, change and deny our emotions - especially the ones that shake us at our very core, like hurt, jealousy, loneliness, shame, rage and grief.”

- Debbie Ford