Self-esteem is vital to being able to enjoy your work and career, but it can also be frustratingly fleeting. Point of order, it’s not self-esteem if it abandons you the moment you need it most (and if when you read that it spoke to you, you are not the only person whose feels their self-confidence is conditional).
Self-esteem is “valuing yourself while understanding and accepting both your strengths and weaknesses” (that is my definition). So often I have run across gifted professionals who felt the only time they could feel confidence was if there were no mistakes or issues hanging around (past or future).
Mistakes are a certainty. Weaknesses are a certainty. So too are strengths and expertise. You need to embrace them all. How do you do that?
Self-esteem uses three areas of emotional intelligence. 1. Positive self-regard (accepting yourself warts and all). 2. Being self-actualized (working towards improving yourself and other personally meaningful long-term goals). 3. Understanding your emotional self-awareness (knowing when an emotion is present, what emotion it is and how to work with it).
Here are three simple ways to help your self-esteem become unconditional.
You are perfectly imperfect (we all are), so be kind to yourself, because if you won’t be kind to yourself then no one else will either. You can see how that would make it even harder to have resilient self-confidence, right?
Your emotional intelligence is what supports resilient self-esteem.