It’s January 3rd and already my resolution to make adjustments to how I want to be in this new year are in tatters. There’s an awful lot of “I don’t wanna!”, “You can’t make me!” and “Do I have to?” going on in my head. My inner toddler has come out to protest my rigid approach to resolution. I’ve made it a very black and white thing and that’s backfiring on me. Spectacularly. Resolutions can set you up to fail, especially if they are all about the things you want to fix. So, where does that leave your New Year’s resolutions? On a very tricky path, with no support rail, unless you choose to build that for yourself first – which is what I’m going to explore here. Some light on this path to start off would be great, as things get dark and murky quite quickly here in the “new”. It feels rewarding to be open to resolutions that are different, fresh, altruistic and being open is an accomplishment to be celebrated. Looking deeply into what you want (and don’t want) is daunting, so when you come out with a realization that there is something you feel compelled to tackle, it is a very empowering thing. It’s heady stuff, you can get carried away (and get in your own way). There is much research around how good you feel when you make a decision to action a positive change (regardless of what it is). To work less. To eat better. Buying a gym membership (because <ahem> putting it on the credit card shows "real" commitment). All those good feelings may in fact make you feel so good you ride those for a while and don’t do the thing you said you would do… crashing down to reality with shame, self-loathing and a deepening sense (via a non-refundable, unbreakable, one-year contract) of debt - both morale and financial. The New Year’s resolution hang-over. So, back to the light. Start to make resolutions from where you are, with the assumption you are perfect the way you are right now. I’m doing this by consulting my Sweary Affirmation Cards, and there’s one that says “My future is a golden, sparkly explosion of f*cking awesomeness”. OK. I can get on board with that. How about you? You are valued, valuable and worthy. You are human, so you are imperfectly perfect, which is really a thing (you sparkly explosion of awesomeness). You won’t get very far with resolutions by only recognizing your flaws; you end up in “fix it” mode, where there is no compassion, only urgency (quick, get on that flaw and fix it before your resolve collapses…). Yuck, ugh, blech… all the words that sound out how terrible that feels and how bad it is for your well-being. It’s the third day of the New Year and I have shifted my resolution. I am going to be compassionately honest with myself – it’s simple, but not easy (and starts by owning my awesomeness). Only when you’re willing to compassionately and consistently look at your whole self will you be in a position to leverage your strengths, building resolutions that do not set you up for a fall. When you work with honesty and compassion there is no support rail needed, it’s already there. Start with compassion, because only then will you be able to move into something new. Give yourself the gift of a great 2023 |
The Career Edit is a self-directed coaching program that helps you get clear on what you want to do with your amazing skills (and what you don’t). It’s an important process, because while it may feel like you’re powerless at work, TWO KEY THINGS ARE ALWAYS IN YOUR CONTROL:
This is not a radical “quit your job” approach. The Career Edit is a thoughtful series of self-directed exercises to help you spend your one precious and amazing life doing something meaningful. To you. |
Leave a Reply.
Subscribe
Looking for a Blog? Search here:
ABOUT MY BLOG
I believe in empowering others in many tangible ways. When I learn new career strategies or see something that might help others, I share it using my blog and website.
Archives
January 2023
December 2022
November 2022
October 2022
August 2022
July 2022
June 2022
May 2022
April 2022
March 2022
February 2022
January 2022
November 2021
October 2021
September 2021
August 2021
July 2021
June 2021
May 2021
April 2021
March 2021
February 2021
December 2020
November 2020
October 2020
August 2020
April 2020
March 2020
February 2020
January 2020
December 2019
November 2019
October 2019
September 2019
August 2019
July 2019
June 2019
May 2019
April 2019
March 2019
February 2019
January 2019
December 2018
November 2018
October 2018
September 2018
August 2018
July 2018
June 2018
May 2018
April 2018
March 2018
February 2018
January 2018
December 2017
November 2017
October 2017
September 2017
June 2017
May 2017
April 2017
March 2017
February 2017
January 2017
October 2016
May 2016
April 2016
March 2016
February 2016
January 2016
December 2015
November 2015
October 2015
September 2015
July 2015
June 2015
May 2015
April 2015
March 2015
February 2015
January 2015
December 2014
November 2014
October 2014
September 2014
August 2014
December 2013