Love Your Working Life
  • Work With Carleen
    • About Carleen
    • Career Strategy Session >
      • Get The Most Out Of Your Career Strategy Session
    • Podcasts
    • Coaching Programs >
      • Lead with Impact
      • Career Impact
      • Purpose to Impact
      • Recognize Your Leadership Potential >
        • Welcome to Recognizing Your Leadership Potential
      • Realize Your High Potential
      • The Art of Influence at Work
      • Your Time By Design
      • Assessment
    • Book Me To Speak >
      • Persuasive at Work
      • Workshops That Work >
        • Getting Hybrid Right
        • Leading a Hybrid Team Workshop
        • Communicating Comfortably in a Hybrid Setting Workshop
        • Finding Your Leadership Compass Hybrid Teams Workshop
        • Communicating Comfortably in a Virtual Setting Workshop
        • Leading in Ambiguity Workshop
        • Accomplishing Work Through Others Workshop
        • My Values Driven Workplace Workshop
        • Working Successfully From Home Workshop
        • Working Resilience
        • The Many Faces of Unconscious Bias Workshop
        • Building A Culture of Trust Workshop
        • Finding Your Leadership Compass Workshop
        • Foundational Conversations Workshop
        • Conscious Conversations Workshop
        • Purpose Driven Feedback Workshop
        • Dynamic Team Communication Workshop
    • Awards
  • Client Stories
  • Blog
  • Testimonials
  • Free Resources
    • Summer Serenity Inspiration Guide
    • Working Life Wellbeing Assessment
    • Hidden Habits Holding You Back
    • Secrets to Boost Your Job Security
    • Working Life Serenity
    • Virtual Influence
    • Hello Monday Videos
    • Career Resources
    • Life Practices >
      • I Feel Angry
      • I Feel Stuck
      • I Am Overwhelmed
      • I Need Self-Compassion
      • Emotions At Work
      • Mindfulness
      • Triggers At Work
      • Naming Emotions
      • I Feel Frustrated
    • Balancing Time Workbook
    • Working Life Persona Quiz
    • Career Health Quiz
    • Healthy Boundaries Quiz
  • Referral Partners
  • Connect
  • Subscribe
  • The Career Edit
BLOG

CREATE A WORK LIFE
​YOU CAN LOVE

The Mathematics of Expectations

2/20/2019

 
Picture
Expectations are really fascinating; they exist silently in our psyche, hidden from conscious view.  They are sometimes so quiet you may not even know an expectation is in play; you might sense that something isn’t quite right, it may feel unnecessarily stressful (and you’re not sure why).  Our expectations of others are often more visible to us, and still manage to cause the same complications when they are not being met.  Unmet expectations (our own, or others of us) breed the conditions for us to react (rather than respond) to what we are experiencing.  Reactions really mess with our sense of self and well-being.  Wouldn’t it be easier if we could make these hidden expectations more visible?  We can.

Enter mathematics.  Stay with me, you are not going to do any actual math, but there is a mathematical concept we learned in grade school that flushes out a hidden expectation before it causes emotional upheaval.  It is “greater than”, “lesser than” and “equal to”.  Here’s how it can help. Begin by taking a few deep breaths to settle yourself into quiet contemplation; then look at your work day, consider the people you will be meeting with today, and then ask yourself “Do I feel ‘greater than’, ‘lesser than’ or ‘equal to’ this person?”  The answers may surprise you.   

When we feel “greater than” someone it isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  You may be training a new employee and so your knowledge and experience in your working environment is “greater than” theirs.  However, there are times we feel “greater than” in a not-so-great way, like when you think of someone as “beneath” you …possibly when you see someone as very different from you (i.e. less mature etc.).  In what circumstances does your less-than-great “greater than” show up at work? What expectations are woven into this belief?  How might you be experienced when you feel “greater than” someone? 

Feeling “lesser than” someone at work is a very stressful circumstance.  Feeling this way often sets self-expectations that are rigid, like “don’t screw up”, designed to help us move through interactions with this person …and impossible to meet.  There may be many reasons why someone makes you feel “lesser than”; they may be an abrasive, or a toxic person.  They may be a very nice person, and you’ve just psyched yourself out.  At work, titles can often do this; I remember years ago meeting with a CEO for the first time at a job interview and feeling all kinds of “lesser than”.  She was really nice.  I did not get the job.  It’s hard to showcase your strengths when you are feeling “lesser than”.  Do you need to feel this way?  What expectations are behind this belief?  How well does this belief serve you in your work?

When you experience “equal to” it is a much different experience.  There is often confidence, and trust, in these relationships.  Check in here, are any expectations present?  We don’t often hold rigid expectations within relationships where we feel “equal to”.  We don’t need to, we have built relationships that are mutually satisfying in “equal to”.  These relationships can be with best friends, or casual acquaintances, and they support well-being.  However, if there is a change to the context of these relationships, the relationship (and your expectations of it) need to be re-navigated (and possibly even re-negotiated).  As an example, when you are promoted at work, and your friend is not (or vice-versa).
Applying this mathematical concept to your relationships can proactively “flush out” any hidden expectations you may have, allowing you to work on key connections, helping them to grow towards “equal to” and empowering well-being, for yourself and others, at work.

“My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations.” - Michael J. Fox

Comments are closed.

    Subscribe 

    Looking for a Blog? Search here:

    ABOUT MY BLOG

    I believe in empowering others in many tangible ways.  When I learn new career strategies  or see something that might help others, I share it using my blog and website. 

    View my profile on LinkedIn

    Archives

    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    August 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    October 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    December 2013

All photography on my website is courtesy of the generous artists at Pexels and Unsplash.
Book Your Career Strategy Session
Privacy Policy
Integral Coach™ is a registered trade-mark in Canada owned by Integral Coaching Canada Inc. and licensed to Carleen Hicks.

  • Work With Carleen
    • About Carleen
    • Career Strategy Session >
      • Get The Most Out Of Your Career Strategy Session
    • Podcasts
    • Coaching Programs >
      • Lead with Impact
      • Career Impact
      • Purpose to Impact
      • Recognize Your Leadership Potential >
        • Welcome to Recognizing Your Leadership Potential
      • Realize Your High Potential
      • The Art of Influence at Work
      • Your Time By Design
      • Assessment
    • Book Me To Speak >
      • Persuasive at Work
      • Workshops That Work >
        • Getting Hybrid Right
        • Leading a Hybrid Team Workshop
        • Communicating Comfortably in a Hybrid Setting Workshop
        • Finding Your Leadership Compass Hybrid Teams Workshop
        • Communicating Comfortably in a Virtual Setting Workshop
        • Leading in Ambiguity Workshop
        • Accomplishing Work Through Others Workshop
        • My Values Driven Workplace Workshop
        • Working Successfully From Home Workshop
        • Working Resilience
        • The Many Faces of Unconscious Bias Workshop
        • Building A Culture of Trust Workshop
        • Finding Your Leadership Compass Workshop
        • Foundational Conversations Workshop
        • Conscious Conversations Workshop
        • Purpose Driven Feedback Workshop
        • Dynamic Team Communication Workshop
    • Awards
  • Client Stories
  • Blog
  • Testimonials
  • Free Resources
    • Summer Serenity Inspiration Guide
    • Working Life Wellbeing Assessment
    • Hidden Habits Holding You Back
    • Secrets to Boost Your Job Security
    • Working Life Serenity
    • Virtual Influence
    • Hello Monday Videos
    • Career Resources
    • Life Practices >
      • I Feel Angry
      • I Feel Stuck
      • I Am Overwhelmed
      • I Need Self-Compassion
      • Emotions At Work
      • Mindfulness
      • Triggers At Work
      • Naming Emotions
      • I Feel Frustrated
    • Balancing Time Workbook
    • Working Life Persona Quiz
    • Career Health Quiz
    • Healthy Boundaries Quiz
  • Referral Partners
  • Connect
  • Subscribe
  • The Career Edit