Love Your Working Life
  • Work With Carleen
    • About Carleen
    • Career Strategy Session >
      • Get The Most Out Of Your Career Strategy Session
    • Podcasts
    • Coaching Programs >
      • Lead with Impact
      • Career Impact
      • Purpose to Impact
      • Recognize Your Leadership Potential >
        • Welcome to Recognizing Your Leadership Potential
      • Realize Your High Potential
      • The Art of Influence at Work
      • Your Time By Design
      • Assessment
    • Book Me To Speak >
      • Persuasive at Work
      • Workshops That Work >
        • Getting Hybrid Right
        • Leading a Hybrid Team Workshop
        • Communicating Comfortably in a Hybrid Setting Workshop
        • Finding Your Leadership Compass Hybrid Teams Workshop
        • Communicating Comfortably in a Virtual Setting Workshop
        • Leading in Ambiguity Workshop
        • Accomplishing Work Through Others Workshop
        • My Values Driven Workplace Workshop
        • Working Successfully From Home Workshop
        • Working Resilience
        • The Many Faces of Unconscious Bias Workshop
        • Building A Culture of Trust Workshop
        • Finding Your Leadership Compass Workshop
        • Foundational Conversations Workshop
        • Conscious Conversations Workshop
        • Purpose Driven Feedback Workshop
        • Dynamic Team Communication Workshop
    • Awards
  • Client Stories
  • Blog
  • Testimonials
  • Free Resources
    • Summer Serenity Inspiration Guide
    • Working Life Wellbeing Assessment
    • Hidden Habits Holding You Back
    • Secrets to Boost Your Job Security
    • Working Life Serenity
    • Virtual Influence
    • Hello Monday Videos
    • Career Resources
    • Life Practices >
      • I Feel Angry
      • I Feel Stuck
      • I Am Overwhelmed
      • I Need Self-Compassion
      • Emotions At Work
      • Mindfulness
      • Triggers At Work
      • Naming Emotions
      • I Feel Frustrated
    • Balancing Time Workbook
    • Working Life Persona Quiz
    • Career Health Quiz
    • Healthy Boundaries Quiz
  • Referral Partners
  • Connect
  • Subscribe
  • The Career Edit
BLOG

CREATE A WORK LIFE
​YOU CAN LOVE

The Impact of Mental Bashing

5/14/2015

 
When was the last time you mentally called yourself an idiot (or some other colourful expletive)?  Was it in the last week? The last day?  The last hour?  For many this is something that happens a lot, but has become part of the “scenery” of our day – we don’t even notice when we are doing it.  Negative thoughts we direct towards ourselves have an impact that we should be aware of, because this is something everyone does at some point and you may be surprised to discover how often you do it (and who it impacts).

Start with data (as opposed to opinion, especially for those of you saying to yourself right now “This doesn’t apply to me”…test that).  As you go through your day make a check mark for every time you have a negative thought aimed at yourself (in a note book or whatever you take with you consistently to meetings).  Do this for a week, although a few days worth of tracking may be all the data you need.  With that data in mind think about the impact of hearing something negative about you that many times a day.  How does this impact you emotionally?  Would you do that to another person in your life?  Would you point to every perceived flaw, annoying behavior or mistake?  No you wouldn’t, because if you did you’d get to have a lovely chat with the folks in HR.  But that is not the only reason we don’t do this to others, it’s also because we know it does not serve a useful purpose.  Humans are perfectly imperfect and no one expects anyone in their life (work or personal) to be 100% all of the time.  So why are we so hard on ourselves?

Likely because we do this reflectively in our own minds and feel it impacts no one else.  Is that the case?  If we can see (by looking at the data, all those check marks) that negative self-talk is present we can then view this information in a new light.  Is it holding us back in life?  Is it making us more emotional, stressed, or keeping us from stretching ourselves?  Likely it is, in small and subtle ways that we may not be able to perceive, but may sound like “I’ll skip this meeting, I need to focus on getting this work done well” or “I need more experience in this area before I’d take on that assignment”.  Think about the ways you “talk” yourself out of potential opportunities because of a consistent current of negativity from the one person who knows you better than anyone else - you.

Bashing ourselves mentally with our flaws impacts others as well.  In today’s workplaces nothing happens in isolation, if you are being hard on yourself it is likely “peeking out”, visible to your colleagues and boss (you are reluctant to take on new things, or don’t contribute as much as you could in meetings).  Likely it is visible at home too, creating behavior patterns that may impact our friends and families (self-exasperation or testiness with others as examples).  How we show up for ourselves and provide self-support for what we do is very important.  It is the foundation of our self-confidence and allows us access to more in work (and in life) than any other single resource.  It’s also important to view self-support as the key-stone to being able to support the people around us.  Imagine a world where “mistakes” become “new things we’ve learned” and where insecurity points to a gap that (now identified) can be addressed.  We can create that world for ourselves, no one else will.  Negative self-talk won’t disappear entirely, but it is up to each of us to manage it when it is present and turn it to something useful rather than allowing it to bludgeon our energy and confidence, impacting us and those we come in contact with everyday.  Be mindful of how often you may be wielding a mental cudgel – awareness is key and a simple step that can provide unending benefits.  Gather the data and see for yourself.


Comments are closed.

    Subscribe 

    Looking for a Blog? Search here:

    ABOUT MY BLOG

    I believe in empowering others in many tangible ways.  When I learn new career strategies  or see something that might help others, I share it using my blog and website. 

    View my profile on LinkedIn

    Archives

    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    August 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    October 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    December 2013

All photography on my website is courtesy of the generous artists at Pexels and Unsplash.
Book Your Career Strategy Session
Privacy Policy
Integral Coach™ is a registered trade-mark in Canada owned by Integral Coaching Canada Inc. and licensed to Carleen Hicks.

  • Work With Carleen
    • About Carleen
    • Career Strategy Session >
      • Get The Most Out Of Your Career Strategy Session
    • Podcasts
    • Coaching Programs >
      • Lead with Impact
      • Career Impact
      • Purpose to Impact
      • Recognize Your Leadership Potential >
        • Welcome to Recognizing Your Leadership Potential
      • Realize Your High Potential
      • The Art of Influence at Work
      • Your Time By Design
      • Assessment
    • Book Me To Speak >
      • Persuasive at Work
      • Workshops That Work >
        • Getting Hybrid Right
        • Leading a Hybrid Team Workshop
        • Communicating Comfortably in a Hybrid Setting Workshop
        • Finding Your Leadership Compass Hybrid Teams Workshop
        • Communicating Comfortably in a Virtual Setting Workshop
        • Leading in Ambiguity Workshop
        • Accomplishing Work Through Others Workshop
        • My Values Driven Workplace Workshop
        • Working Successfully From Home Workshop
        • Working Resilience
        • The Many Faces of Unconscious Bias Workshop
        • Building A Culture of Trust Workshop
        • Finding Your Leadership Compass Workshop
        • Foundational Conversations Workshop
        • Conscious Conversations Workshop
        • Purpose Driven Feedback Workshop
        • Dynamic Team Communication Workshop
    • Awards
  • Client Stories
  • Blog
  • Testimonials
  • Free Resources
    • Summer Serenity Inspiration Guide
    • Working Life Wellbeing Assessment
    • Hidden Habits Holding You Back
    • Secrets to Boost Your Job Security
    • Working Life Serenity
    • Virtual Influence
    • Hello Monday Videos
    • Career Resources
    • Life Practices >
      • I Feel Angry
      • I Feel Stuck
      • I Am Overwhelmed
      • I Need Self-Compassion
      • Emotions At Work
      • Mindfulness
      • Triggers At Work
      • Naming Emotions
      • I Feel Frustrated
    • Balancing Time Workbook
    • Working Life Persona Quiz
    • Career Health Quiz
    • Healthy Boundaries Quiz
  • Referral Partners
  • Connect
  • Subscribe
  • The Career Edit