Love Your Working Life
  • Work With Carleen
    • About Carleen
    • Career Strategy Session >
      • Get The Most Out Of Your Career Strategy Session
    • Podcasts
    • Coaching Programs >
      • Lead with Impact
      • Career Impact
      • Purpose to Impact
      • Recognize Your Leadership Potential >
        • Welcome to Recognizing Your Leadership Potential
      • Realize Your High Potential
      • The Art of Influence at Work
      • Your Time By Design
      • Assessment
    • Book Me To Speak >
      • Persuasive at Work
      • Workshops That Work >
        • Getting Hybrid Right
        • Leading a Hybrid Team Workshop
        • Communicating Comfortably in a Hybrid Setting Workshop
        • Finding Your Leadership Compass Hybrid Teams Workshop
        • Communicating Comfortably in a Virtual Setting Workshop
        • Leading in Ambiguity Workshop
        • Accomplishing Work Through Others Workshop
        • My Values Driven Workplace Workshop
        • Working Successfully From Home Workshop
        • Working Resilience
        • The Many Faces of Unconscious Bias Workshop
        • Building A Culture of Trust Workshop
        • Finding Your Leadership Compass Workshop
        • Foundational Conversations Workshop
        • Conscious Conversations Workshop
        • Purpose Driven Feedback Workshop
        • Dynamic Team Communication Workshop
    • Awards
  • Client Stories
  • Blog
  • Testimonials
  • Free Resources
    • Summer Serenity Inspiration Guide
    • Working Life Wellbeing Assessment
    • Hidden Habits Holding You Back
    • Secrets to Boost Your Job Security
    • Working Life Serenity
    • Virtual Influence
    • Hello Monday Videos
    • Career Resources
    • Life Practices >
      • I Feel Angry
      • I Feel Stuck
      • I Am Overwhelmed
      • I Need Self-Compassion
      • Emotions At Work
      • Mindfulness
      • Triggers At Work
      • Naming Emotions
      • I Feel Frustrated
    • Balancing Time Workbook
    • Working Life Persona Quiz
    • Career Health Quiz
    • Healthy Boundaries Quiz
  • Referral Partners
  • Connect
  • Subscribe
  • The Career Edit
BLOG

CREATE A WORK LIFE
​YOU CAN LOVE

The Effects Of Emotional Labor

6/27/2018

 
Picture
“At its most basic level, all of this emotional labour is saying to another human being “you matter. I will take my time to show you that you matter.” ― Emotional Labor: The MetaFilter Thread Condensed
 
Emotional labor is an interesting concept, although you may know it better as the phrase “labor of love”.  That phrase tends to be applied to something that feeds your passions or gives back to you in some way, whereas emotional labor is the flip side of the coin; the side of love (deep caring) that often depletes. Here’s an illustration of how this happens; ever masked or hidden your feelings about another person (or a decision) at work because you cared about how it would make someone else feel, or how others might perceive you if you gave voice to your thoughts?  This level of self-management is emotional labor.   Sometimes we use this for good purpose at work (holding back an unhelpful opinion) and sometimes we hide behind it because we feel too vulnerable or it is unsafe to bring up (career limiting move).
 
Arlie Hochschild defines emotional labor as the way we hide or mask our own emotions to present “a publicly visible facial and bodily display within the workplace”.  Emotional labor is exhausting when ever-present, causing us to unwittingly create a double-life; being one person in our personal lives and another one at work (or within parts of our work).  That toggle can feel inauthentic and usually points to an unhealthy compromise of values or principles.  This gap can be difficult to live with long-term, causing frustration, self-loathing and other negative outcomes, even impacts to health and well-being.  Of course from time to time at work we all experience moments when it is best to keep our opinion to ourselves (I’d like to think even Mother Theresa mentally rolled her eyes every once in awhile), but having no freedom to professionally voice concerns, provide opposing views or bring up new ideas in your work is depleting.  When this circumstance exists because you are unsure about what is the best approach; too afraid to even check if this would be career limiting or you doubt how skillfully you could navigate a vulnerable conversation, you end up with unmet needs.
 
Everyone has felt the pinch of needing to do something that scares him or her, to act on good and moral purpose.  What stands in the way of having vulnerable and difficult conversations is the cost of the emotional labor they require.  “No real conversation can ever occur without some vulnerability. We often close the conversation by forcing ourselves to make a premature and sometimes absurd choice between our self preservation and having a proper conversation, even when there is no real threat to our person.” (David Whyte, The Three Marriages:  Reimagining Work, Self and Relationship).  It points to the need to get very honest with yourself and see what is being called for; continue to remain inauthentic and silent, or take the time needed to figure out how best to approach the conversation(s) that would clarify or alleviate your gap in authenticity and address what you need at work.  A good starting point is to think about what it is you share with this other person.  Emotional labor is based on deep caring (yours and others), and if you reflect objectively and with compassion on the other person, there is likely something you share with her or him that deeply matters to both of you.  Start there, and then determine how best you could approach this person from a place of shared meaning, allowing you to be both authentic and empathetic in your approach, open to an exchange of ideas and options to build both your relationship and a better outcome.  This takes practice, but is well worth the investment as emotional labor pays off over time.
bestessays review link
7/17/2018 07:13:16 am

I evaluated your means of labor in a lot of ways. The labor I had in my mind is the working part I was so stressed in my work and maybe it is because the environment in the work is no longer healthy. The people are toxic, the boss's are not so considerate and I felt that I just keep on repeating in my workplace. I was not able to grow anymore and I am not happy anymore. Sometimes, living is not the key. We keep on making a living, but we forget to live.

Carleen link
7/18/2018 04:04:43 pm

Hi BESTESSAYS REVIEW,

Thanks so much for you comment. I agree sometimes we can be so focused on making a living that we forget to live. Here are two other blogs I have written that may help:

http://www.loveyourworkinglife.com/blog-everyday-potential/getting-over-a-toxic-employer

http://www.loveyourworkinglife.com/blog-everyday-potential/should-i-stay-or-should-i-go

I hope these are useful to you.

Take care,
Carleen


Comments are closed.

    Subscribe 

    Looking for a Blog? Search here:

    ABOUT MY BLOG

    I believe in empowering others in many tangible ways.  When I learn new career strategies  or see something that might help others, I share it using my blog and website. 

    View my profile on LinkedIn

    Archives

    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    August 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    October 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    December 2013

All photography on my website is courtesy of the generous artists at Pexels and Unsplash.
Book Your Career Strategy Session
Privacy Policy
Integral Coach™ is a registered trade-mark in Canada owned by Integral Coaching Canada Inc. and licensed to Carleen Hicks.

  • Work With Carleen
    • About Carleen
    • Career Strategy Session >
      • Get The Most Out Of Your Career Strategy Session
    • Podcasts
    • Coaching Programs >
      • Lead with Impact
      • Career Impact
      • Purpose to Impact
      • Recognize Your Leadership Potential >
        • Welcome to Recognizing Your Leadership Potential
      • Realize Your High Potential
      • The Art of Influence at Work
      • Your Time By Design
      • Assessment
    • Book Me To Speak >
      • Persuasive at Work
      • Workshops That Work >
        • Getting Hybrid Right
        • Leading a Hybrid Team Workshop
        • Communicating Comfortably in a Hybrid Setting Workshop
        • Finding Your Leadership Compass Hybrid Teams Workshop
        • Communicating Comfortably in a Virtual Setting Workshop
        • Leading in Ambiguity Workshop
        • Accomplishing Work Through Others Workshop
        • My Values Driven Workplace Workshop
        • Working Successfully From Home Workshop
        • Working Resilience
        • The Many Faces of Unconscious Bias Workshop
        • Building A Culture of Trust Workshop
        • Finding Your Leadership Compass Workshop
        • Foundational Conversations Workshop
        • Conscious Conversations Workshop
        • Purpose Driven Feedback Workshop
        • Dynamic Team Communication Workshop
    • Awards
  • Client Stories
  • Blog
  • Testimonials
  • Free Resources
    • Summer Serenity Inspiration Guide
    • Working Life Wellbeing Assessment
    • Hidden Habits Holding You Back
    • Secrets to Boost Your Job Security
    • Working Life Serenity
    • Virtual Influence
    • Hello Monday Videos
    • Career Resources
    • Life Practices >
      • I Feel Angry
      • I Feel Stuck
      • I Am Overwhelmed
      • I Need Self-Compassion
      • Emotions At Work
      • Mindfulness
      • Triggers At Work
      • Naming Emotions
      • I Feel Frustrated
    • Balancing Time Workbook
    • Working Life Persona Quiz
    • Career Health Quiz
    • Healthy Boundaries Quiz
  • Referral Partners
  • Connect
  • Subscribe
  • The Career Edit