We've all had those days when we wake up feeling less than enthusiastic about going to work. Maybe it's the Monday blues or personal concerns weighing you down. It happens to everyone from time to time.  However, have you ever stopped to consider how your mood at work may influence your manager's perception of your performance? It's something to consider as managers tend to attribute greater performance to employees who exude positivity and happiness, while assuming lower performance from those who don't exhibit such overtly positive body language and facial expressions. 
 
But is this perception always accurate? And what can professionals do to address this issue without having to fake happiness?  Let’s explore what you can do to control the narrative of your performance, without having to fake-happiness every day.
 
Perception Bias
It's no secret that managers, like everyone else, are susceptible to perception bias. Human beings naturally gravitate toward positive emotions and behaviors. Consequently, managers often associate positive attitudes with high performance and view individuals who display such positivity as more competent and engaged. On the other hand, employees who don't explicitly exhibit positive body language and facial expressions may be perceived as less competent or disengaged, regardless of their actual performance.
 
Debunking the Myth
It's crucial to recognize that your emotional state doesn't always reflect your true abilities or dedication to your work. You know that even though you may not be always be outwardly enthusiastic, you are still a highly productive, skilled, and committed employee. The key lies in challenging potentially biased perceptions and focusing on objective measures of performance. Reference your impact and productivity at work using objective, measurable guides when speaking about your day or work with your manager.  Managers sometimes need to be reminded that true performance is based on concrete deliverables, quality of work, and overall outcomes, rather than subjective interpretations of a person's mood.
 
Addressing the Issue Strategically
As professionals, it's important to find ways to address this perception bias without compromising your authenticity or faking happiness. Here are some strategies to consider:

• Cultivate open communication: Establish a rapport with your manager and proactively communicate about your work, challenges, and achievements. Share your progress, ideas, and aspirations, showcasing your dedication and commitment.
  
  
• Showcase your results: Make sure your manager is aware of your accomplishments and the impact of your work. Providing tangible evidence of your contributions will help shift the focus from your mood to your actual performance.

• Seek feedback and growth opportunities: Actively seek feedback from your manager to understand their expectations and align your work accordingly. Focus on continuous improvement and take advantage of learning and development opportunities to enhance your skills.

• Build strong relationships: Foster positive relationships with colleagues and peers. Collaboration, teamwork, and a supportive work environment can create an overall positive atmosphere, which can counterbalance any perceived negative moods.

• Practice emotional self-care: Take care of your wellbeing by managing stress, maintaining healthy work-life sustainability, and engaging in activities that bring you joy outside of work. By prioritizing your emotional self-care, you can enhance your overall mood and mindset.

 
While it's unfortunate that managers may rely on mood to evaluate performance (consciously or unconsciously), it's important to challenge this bias and shift the focus to objective measures of productivity and outcomes. By cultivating open communication, showcasing results, seeking feedback, building relationships, and practicing emotional self-care, you can navigate the workplace without having to fake happiness while still being recognized for your true capabilities. Remember, it's not just about being happy at work; it's about being competent, dedicated, and delivering exceptional results.

When it comes to discussing achievements, many professionals struggle to strike a balance between confidence and humility. It's natural to want to showcase your expertise, but because of the concern with coming across as a braggart, many opt to remain silently humble instead. Fortunately, there are ways to talk about your accomplishments comfortably while fostering genuine connections with others. In today’s blog post, we'll explore some effective strategies to help you share your achievements confidently and authentically.
 
Embrace the Power of Storytelling:
Instead of reciting a list of accomplishments, weave your experiences into compelling stories. By sharing the challenges you faced, the lessons you learned, and the positive impact you made, you engage listeners on an emotional level. Craft your narratives to highlight the value you brought to others, making it easier for them to connect with your expertise.
 
Be Genuine and Authentic:
Approach conversations with a genuine desire to connect and help others rather than solely focusing on self-promotion. Share your achievements in a manner that emphasizes your passion and dedication to your field. People are more likely to connect with you when they sense your authenticity and genuine enthusiasm.
 
Show Gratitude and Acknowledge Others:
When discussing your achievements, express gratitude to those who supported and mentored you along the way. Acknowledge the contributions of your team members, collaborators, or mentors, and highlight how their expertise and guidance were instrumental in your success. This not only demonstrates your humility but also shows your ability to collaborate and work effectively with others.
 
Focus on the Value You Bring:
Rather than simply stating your achievements, emphasize the value you can offer to others. Highlight the skills, knowledge, or insights that make you uniquely qualified to help solve their problems or address their needs. By shifting the focus from yourself to the potential benefits for others, you position yourself as a valuable resource and foster connections based on shared expertise.
 
Effectively discussing your achievements doesn't have to feel slimy, or like bragging. By embracing storytelling, being authentic, showing gratitude, and focusing on the value you bring, you can confidently share your accomplishments while fostering genuine connections with others. Remember, the key lies in demonstrating your expertise in a relatable and approachable way, ultimately building a network of professionals who recognize your worth and seek to collaborate with you.

We've all heard the saying, "You can't change people," and it couldn't be truer when it comes to dealing with toxic colleagues or leaders in the workplace. It's frustrating, disheartening, and, at times, downright exhausting. But fear not! In this blog, we'll explore some practical strategies to help you safeguard your mental health while facing these challenging situations. So, grab a cup of coffee, sit back, and let's dive in!
 
Acknowledge the Reality:
First things first, it's crucial to accept that you can't change a toxic person. Trying to do so will only leave you drained and disappointed. Instead, shift your focus to what you can control – your own reactions and well-being. Accepting this reality will empower you to take charge of your mental health.
 
Set Boundaries:
Establishing clear boundaries is key to protecting yourself from toxic influences. Identify what behaviors or actions are unacceptable to you, and communicate them assertively (even when that may not change a thing, it does protect your self-esteem to stand up for yourself).  The goal with boundaries is to mark them, even though nothing may change. You support your well-being when you let others know what is acceptable. Learn to say "no" when necessary, especially when it’s to prioritize your own well-being. Setting boundaries helps create a safe space for you to thrive professionally.  
 
Build a Support Network:
Surrounding yourself with supportive colleagues inside work and understanding friends outside of work is crucial. Having someone who understands your situation and can provide a listening ear or helpful advice can make a world of difference. Don't hesitate to lean on your support network during challenging times – they're there to uplift you.
 
Focus on Emotional Self-Care:
Investing in emotional self-care is vital when dealing with toxicity at work. Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you recharge. Whether it's practicing mindfulness, exercising, pursuing a hobby, or simply taking time for yourself, prioritize your emotional self-care to replenish your mental and emotional reserves.
 
Seek Professional Help if Needed:
If the toxicity becomes overwhelming and starts impacting your mental health significantly, don't hesitate to seek professional help. Therapists or a coach can provide valuable guidance and coping strategies to navigate the situation effectively.
 
While it may be frustrating to realize that you can't change toxic colleagues or leaders, remember that you have the power to protect your mental health and create a positive work environment for yourself. By acknowledging the reality, setting boundaries, building a support network, focusing on emotional self-care, and seeking professional help when needed, you can reclaim control over your well-being. 
 
Remember, you deserve to thrive in a healthy workplace, and with these strategies, you'll be well on your way to doing just that! So, take a deep breath, stay strong, and don't let toxic individuals make you feel less-than. 
 
You've got this!

In the realm of work, emotions run deep. Among the vast spectrum of emotions, guilt can often find its way into your professional life, leaving you feeling conflicted and emotionally burdened (leading to a risk of burnout). Whether it stems from making a mistake, letting down a colleague, or even achieving success amidst the struggles of others, guilt can cast a shadow on your confidence and productivity. Let’s delve into the intricate nature of feeling guilt at work and explore constructive ways to navigate through it.
 
Understanding the Complexity:
Guilt at work can arise from various sources. Sometimes, you may feel guilty for not meeting your own expectations or failing to deliver on a project (even if the reasons why were out of your own control). Other times, guilt may stem from interpersonal dynamics, such as a conflict with a colleague or letting down a team member. It’s crucial to recognize that guilt is a normal human emotion, and experiencing it demonstrates your empathy and desire for growth.
 
Dealing with Mistakes:
Making mistakes is an inevitable part of professional life. Instead of letting guilt consume you, it’s essential to approach mistakes as learning opportunities. Acknowledge the error, take responsibility (if it’s yours), and seek ways to rectify the situation. By addressing the issue head-on and implementing measures to prevent similar mistakes in the future, you can transform guilt into personal growth.
 
The Role of Communication:
Open and honest communication plays a vital role in addressing guilt at work. If guilt arises from letting down a colleague or team, it is important to engage in sincere dialogue, expressing remorse in a way that shows you understand their perspective. By actively listening and finding mutually beneficial solutions, you can foster a supportive work environment that promotes trust and collaboration.
 
Cultivating Self-Compassion:
Guilt often stems from setting unrealistic expectations for yourself. It is essential to practice self-compassion and acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes. Rather than dwelling on guilt, focus on self-empowerment through learning and celebrate the small victories along the way. By embracing a growth mindset, you can turn guilt into a catalyst for your personal and professional development.
 
Seeking Support:
Feeling guilt at work can be isolating, but know you’re not alone. Reach out to trusted colleagues, mentors, friends/family or a coach for guidance and support. Sharing your concerns with others can provide fresh perspectives, reassurance, and valuable insights on how to address guilt constructively so it doesn’t add to stress, exhaustion or other factors for burnout (breaking the silence around what you’re feeling is an important step).
 
Guilt is a natural emotion that everyone encounters in the workplace. However, just because it’s normal doesn’t mean you always know what to do with it so it doesn’t add to your stress and risk for burnout.  It’s important to approach feelings of guilt with understanding and thoughtfulness. By learning from mistakes, engaging in effective communication (breaking the silence), practicing self-compassion, and seeking support, you can transform guilt into a catalyst for growth and create a more positive work environment. Remember, it's not about avoiding guilt altogether, but rather about how you choose to respond to it that shapes your professional journey.

Do you know what a stress-habit is?  Neither did I, but mine’s been holding me back for quite a while and it’s time to face the elephant in the room. We've all experienced those overwhelming moments that seem to follow us around like a stubborn shadow. But did you know that stress can become a habit, one that needs to be fed no matter how far that pushes you towards the brink? In this blog post, we'll explore how this little-known habit can get in your way, hinder your personal and professional growth, and what to do about it.
 
The Vicious Cycle of Stress
Stress is a natural response to challenging situations, and in small doses, it can actually be beneficial, pushing you to perform better. However, when stress becomes a habit, it can create a vicious cycle. The more stress you experience, the more your body and mind becomes accustomed to it. Over time, you may start seeking out stress-inducing situations, perpetuating the cycle and hindering your ability to find peace and balance.  That’s not to say you are at fault for being stressed, like many habits it’s often something you don’t even realize you have, particularly at work.
 
Impaired Decision-Making 
When stress becomes ingrained as a habit, it can impair your decision-making abilities. Stress triggers the release of cortisol, a hormone that affects cognitive functions. Chronic stress can cloud your judgment, making it difficult to think clearly and rationally. This can lead to poor decision-making, both in your personal and professional life. You may find yourself making impulsive choices or getting stuck in analysis paralysis, unable to make any decisions at all. You may also get exhausted from decision fatigue, making it impossible to say “no”, or just easier to say “yes”.  It can also mean that even if things do become less stressful, it causes emotional discomfort (an unease, because of the marked change between your super busy schedule and a more liveable one).  When this happens, you may automatically fill your day to over-capacity because your stress-habit demands to be fed in order to make you feel like you’re doing “enough”, being involved or making a difference.
 
Negative Impact on Relationships
Stress can take a toll on your relationships, particularly when it becomes a habit. Constantly being in a state of stress can make you more prone to irritability, impatience, and less emotionally available to the people closest to you. You may inadvertently push away the people who matter most if they get in the way of getting everything done, as stress becomes something unconsciously guiding you in every situation. The inability to relax and be present in your relationships can strain connections, causing misunderstandings and creating distance between yourself and those you care about, the people you need to support your emotional self-care (unintentionally creating… you guessed it, more stress).
 
Health Consequences 
Of course, we all know that long-term stress can have significant health consequences. When stress becomes a habit, it can lead to chronic conditions such as high blood pressure, heart disease, and compromised immune function (all signs of burnout). Additionally, it can contribute to mental health issues like anxiety and depression (also signs of burnout). Neglecting self-care and relaxation in favor of constant stress can have severe implications for your overall well-being.  While that’s not news, knowing how to break an stress-habit isn’t something we talk about enough and it’s time to break the silence.
 
Catching a Stress-habit in the Act
There are certain things that keep a stress-habit fed.  A fear-of-missing-out (FOMO), wanting to be helpful to others (constantly putting their needs before your own), or trying to control outcomes through over-work and hard work (or perfectionism) are just a few of the ways a stress-habit keeps itself fed.  You may not even know your stress-habit is doing this; you just know you’re stressed and don’t really see a way out.  One way to catch a stress-habit in the act is to put off making a decision, or saying “yes” to something for a few hours (asking for time to think, or to confirm when you’re available to help).  If you find putting space between yourself and something that is likely to create stress for you hard to do, you have a stress-habit.
 
Breaking Free
Breaking the cycle of stress as a habit is crucial for personal and professional growth. Recognizing the negative impacts it can have on decision-making, relationships, and your health is the first step. By knowing when your stress-habit is in play, cultivating healthier habits, coping mechanisms, seeking support, and prioritizing emotional self-care, you can overcome your stress-habit and create a more fulfilling and balanced life.
 
Remember, it's never too late to break free from the grip of stress and regain control of your well-being. Take small steps each day towards a more stress-free life, and you'll be amazed at the positive changes it can bring.
 
And if you’re really stuck, get help.  You’re never alone on this journey.

​Many of us have been conditioned to believe that showing emotions at work is unprofessional, and that we should keep our personal and professional lives separate. However, this thinking (when taken too far) can create deep dissatisfaction and lead to keeping a distance, not between ourselves and our careers, but ourselves and others in the workplace. 
 
One of the most significant consequences of being afraid to get emotionally invested at work is you may become disengaged and detached from your work and organization. This can lead to decreased productivity, perceived poor job performance, and/or a lack of engagement in what your team and organization does. When you don't feel emotionally invested in your work, you’re less likely to take risks, try new things, or take on challenging projects. This reduces your access to professional growth opportunities that can keep your skills relevant and make work more interesting.
 
Another consequence of being afraid to get emotionally invested at work is you may miss out on building meaningful relationships with your colleagues. While it’s prudent to hold some emotions in check, endeavoring not to feel anything meaningful may make you seem distant and disinterested to others.  You may not be as open and authentic with others, and could miss out on opportunities for collaboration, mentorship, and friendship. This could also mean you become less receptive to feedback and constructive criticism. You may then become defensive or closed off, and this can hinder your ability to learn and grow from your experiences (and have others learn and grow from your expertise).
 
Not getting emotionally invested at work means you lose access to something very important that all humans need – a connection to your efforts, being able to feel the purposefulness of your work.  When you shut down emotions it is indiscriminate – it cuts you off from all your feelings (welcome and unwelcome), not just the feels you don’t want to experience.  This is how you lose access to the joy of your profession, how you’re separated from the meaning that’s vital to have a career you can enjoy through contribution and personal pride.  If this is happening to you, it could be a sign of burnout.  Burnout creates a dis-connect between your actions and your needs, which includes your ability to care about work, or to care about yourself at work.
 
In contrast, when you allow yourself to become emotionally invested in your work, you experience a range of positive outcomes. You feel more fulfilled, engaged, and motivated, and are more open to feedback and constructive criticism. You may also be more likely to take on new challenges, form meaningful relationships with your co-workers, and ultimately achieve greater success in your career, creating a work life you can love.  The benefits here include getting energized at work, not depleted, connecting to your accomplishments in healthy ways that support work/life sustainability.
 
Overall, it's important to recognize that emotions play a significant role in your work life. Monitor your emotional connection to yourself and your work to check for signs and risks of burnout.  While it's true that you should be professional, don’t be afraid to bring your whole self to work by investing emotionally.  Laugh out loud, feel the respect and belonging that’s there, let it touch you.  Opening yourself to emotions at work means there will sometimes be disappointment, or sadness, even anger, but there’s no avoiding these feelings from time to time at work or in life.  By letting yourself get emotionally invested at work you unlock new opportunities for growth, learning, and connection.

Belonging at work is a fundamental human need. It's the feeling you get when you’re accepted, valued, and appreciated for who you are and what you bring to the table. It’s excruciating when it’s missing, I know when that’s happened to me it led to feelings of isolation and self-doubt, not great for my wellbeing or my productivity at work.  In a high-demand environment feeling like you don’t belong creates the perfect conditions for burnout.  
 
Belonging at work brings a sense of comfort, security, and a feeling of being part of something greater than yourself. It's the foundation of a healthy workplace culture, and it's something that many of us work hard to achieve, but isn’t entirely in our control to experience.  The way you’re treated, valued and recognized plays a big part in supporting (or sabotaging) your feelings of belonging.
 
Belonging also provides a sense of purpose, one that’s often built in at home (unconditional love) but can feel very “conditional” at work. Ensuring belonging is reliably present in the workplace is key for organizations, because you’re more likely to collaborate with your colleagues and share your knowledge and expertise freely, which leads to better outcomes for everyone involved.
 
While it’s not always in your control to experience belonging at work, there are ways you can actively contribute to creating a stronger sense of belonging for yourself:
 

• Show appreciation and kindness: Take the time to acknowledge and appreciate your colleagues' efforts. Offer genuine compliments, express gratitude, and show kindness towards others. Small gestures can go a long way in fostering a sense of belonging.

 

• Embrace diversity and inclusion: Respect and appreciate the diversity of your coworkers and leaders. Be open-minded, inclusive, and willing to learn from different perspectives. Celebrate cultural differences and contribute to an environment that values diversity.

• Actively participate and engage: Get involved in team activities, meetings, and discussions. Contribute your ideas, opinions, and skills. Actively participate in group projects or employee committees, collaborate with colleagues, and seek opportunities to make meaningful contributions.

 

• Foster connections and relationships: Take the initiative to connect with your colleagues/manager on a personal level. Engage in conversations beyond work-related topics, show interest in their lives, and be a good listener. Building genuine relationships can create a sense of camaraderie and belonging.

 

• Offer support and collaboration: Be willing to offer assistance and support to your colleagues/manager. Collaborate on projects, share knowledge and resources, and create a helpful and supportive work environment. By fostering a collaborative culture, you contribute to a sense of belonging for yourself and others.

 

• Seek growth and development opportunities: Take ownership of your professional growth by seeking learning and development opportunities. Acquire new skills, expand your knowledge, and contribute your expertise to the team. By continuously growing, you contribute to the overall success of the organization and enhance your sense of belonging.

 
Building a sense of belonging is a collective effort, and as an individual, you can make a significant impact by fostering positive relationships, promoting inclusivity, and actively engaging with your colleagues.  Fostering a deeper sense of belonging at work also enhances your wellbeing. You spend a significant portion of your life at work, and it's essential you feel a connection with the people with whom you work. Wellness and belonging are linked because belonging means you’re less likely to experience stress, anxiety, and burnout (and if you do, you have people around you at work who can help). 
 
Belonging at work is essential for your wellbeing, engagement, and productivity. It's a basic human need that we all crave and when you feel like you belong, you’re more likely to be satisfied with your work, making meaningful contributions to your organization's success. It's an investment that pays dividends for everyone involved.

I had an interesting exchange with one of my subscribers on a previous blog I wrote about passion as a path to burnout.  She pointed out that sometimes burnout can be caused by your managers’ passion for new projects (rather than your own), and she is right (thank-you MA)! 
 
Let’s explore a common workplace challenge: dealing with a boss who has shiny object syndrome (SOS). You know, the type of boss who is easily distracted by new ideas, constantly shifting priorities, and committing to shiny new projects that you (and your team) have to deliver. It can be a tough circumstance to work in, so I'll share practical tips to help you navigate this situation (and keep your job), helping you to neutralize shiny object syndrome.
 
Understand Their Perspective:
First things first, it's important to understand where your boss is coming from. Shiny object syndrome often stems from a creative and entrepreneurial spirit, fueled by a desire for growth and innovation. Recognize that their enthusiasm for new ideas may stem from a genuine belief in their potential (and yours). Even if your boss is constantly putting their hand up and committing you and your colleagues to things as a way to feed their ego, you’re still going to be better able to cope (wellness intact) if you have a plan.  

• ​Start by embracing their vision while keeping an experienced eye on the bigger picture.

 
Clarify Goals and Priorities:
When your boss constantly switches gears, it's crucial to clarify your goals and priorities. Engage in open and honest communication with your boss to understand their expectations and align them with the priorities already in process (because in the rush of a shiny new object they may have forgotten about those). Collaboratively discuss the impact of changing priorities and how that supports, or sabotages, meeting strategic corporate objectives and the needs of your bosses’ boss, or other important stakeholders. When discussing priorities and expectations, be sure to do this in a neutral and non-judgemental tone to get, and keep, their attention.  

• You may have to mention your concerns and let your boss sit with them a bit before they realize the implication of constantly changing priorities on the business. Work together to establish a clear roadmap for projects that (ah-hem) will make your boss look good (particularly if they are ego-driven). This way, you have a better chance of being able to stay focused on the tasks that truly matter.

 
Manage Expectations:
Having a boss with shiny object syndrome means you'll need to become a master of managing commitments and planning. To do this, clearly communicate your workload, highlighting the time and resources required for each task. If you don’t know what those are, indicate you’ll look at your managers’ request and get back to them with what will be needed to completed it; doing this gives you time and the opportunity to bring up key concerns for discussion, so you can re-set expectations or discuss re-prioritization of on-going work. Educate your boss on the consequences of constant shifts in direction, including potential delays, decreased quality, and reduced overall productivity. Provide suggestions for alternative approaches that could help balance their desire for new projects while maintaining focus on ongoing priorities.

• One of the best ways to do this is to “thin slice” the shiny object, giving them a quick hit item from their idea to use as a pilot or a check for feasibility.  This will help to mitigate your bosses’ expectations and slow the shiny object down, without saying “no” or bursting their idea bubble.  This may also mean they forget about it when they move on to something else (and you don’t lose a lot of time chasing shiny objects).

 
Maintain Your Focus:
To stay on track amidst the chaos, develop strategies to maintain your focus. Break down your tasks into manageable chunks, set clear deadlines, and create a to-do list that helps you stay organized amidst the chaos of shiny object syndrome. Use trusted time management techniques to enhance your productivity (but don’t expect time management to be a “magic bullet” for productivity – there are only so many hours in a day you can be productive before you need rest).

• By demonstrating your ability to stay focused and deliver results, you have a better shot at earning the trust and respect of your boss, which may make it easier to navigate their shiny object syndrome in the future.

 
Dealing with a boss who has shiny object syndrome can be challenging, but it's not impossible. By understanding their perspective (even when it’s ego-driven), clarifying priorities, managing expectations, and maintaining your focus, you can navigate this situation successfully (with your wellbeing intact). Remember, adaptability and effective communication are key to thriving in any work environment.  So, the next time you find yourself in a situation where your boss is chasing shiny objects, stay calm, stay focused, and keep working towards your goals. 

Do you have emotional integrity?  It’s something we can build throughout our lives.  It’s a component of emotional intelligence and I wished I’d known more about emotional integrity when I was leading, because it would have made my leadership more impactful for both my team and organization (and more effortless for me).  Emotional integrity is not a new concept, but it’s certainly not one we talk about a lot (like many professionals, you may not have even heard of it). Yet, it’s incredibly helpful to understand, particularly at work where it plays a big role in building trust and relatability with others. 
 
Emotional integrity refers to the ability to recognize, express, and work with one's emotions in a healthy and constructive way. It’s an essential aspect of building and maintaining relationships with others. While having high overall integrity is important, recognizing low emotional integrity is key.  Low emotional integrity can undermine your work due to the inability to connect with others on a deeper level. If you struggle with low emotional integrity, you may have difficulty consistently expressing your feelings in ways that are honest, authentic, even respectful. You may suppress your emotions or resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as avoidance, expressions of frustration or aggression, which can put your reputation at risk, as well as your wellbeing. 
 
Low emotional integrity makes it difficult to connect with others on an emotional level, struggling to understand and empathize with others' perspectives and unable to connect to what they’re feeling.  If you don’t have low emotional integrity, you may work with someone who does.  People with low emotional integrity can face challenges with building trust and intimacy in their relationships. Trust is a fundamental component of any healthy relationship, requiring emotional vulnerability and honesty. Without emotional integrity, establishing trust is difficult, as people may not express themselves well, or withhold their true feelings or intentions.  At work, people with low emotional integrity often hold themselves accountable to a very high expression of integrity in their work.  In fact, they seem to value work over people, making it hard for others to connect to them on a personal level, even though they want the best for their team/organization.  
 
Low emotional integrity happens for all of us from time to time.  As an example, telling colleagues you’re “fine” even though you have a splitting headache, can be a way to muscle through the last part of your work day with less interruption.  Every now and again, low emotional integrity isn’t likely to impact the way you’re perceived by others.  However, if you’re hiding your true feelings the majority of the time, it can make it difficult for others to connect with you, especially when you’re a leader. Low emotional integrity, when frequent, can undermine relationships with your staff, causing unnecessary misunderstandings and (sometimes) conflict. When leaders struggle to express their emotions effectively, they may inadvertently communicate in ways that are unclear or insensitive. This can lead to misinterpretations, hurt feelings, and resentment, which will frustrate working relationships over time.
 
Another way low emotional integrity can impact the workplace is through burnout.  A change in someone’s emotional integrity at work can signal they’re at risk; unexplained emotional outbursts, or uncharacteristic indifference to important work assignments can be signs.  In the context of emotional integrity, burnout can impact a person’s ability to align their emotions, thoughts, and actions. They may feel emotionally drained, have difficulty connecting with their own emotions, or experience a disconnection between their true feelings and their outward expressions. This misalignment can lead to a sense of inauthenticity and a breakdown in key relationships at work.
 
It's important to recognize that emotions and behaviors are complex and influenced by various factors, which is why empathy and communication are so important when you’re a leader. Not everyone experiences low emotional integrity at work, but it can be frustrating and damaging when someone does because it’s a critical aspect of building and maintaining healthy relationships. 
 
While overall integrity is important, emotional integrity is an essential component of building strong, meaningful relationships for everyone, but particularly for leaders. By cultivating emotional self-awareness, practicing healthy coping mechanisms, and communicating honestly and respectfully, anyone can strengthen their emotional integrity and improve their relationships with others.  Watching for shifts in emotional integrity can help mitigate the signs and risks of professional burnout, for yourself or others on your team.  Knowing more about emotional integrity would’ve been a great benefit for me as a leader, empowering me to support my team’s wellbeing at work (as well as my own).

One of the biggest ways I ‘effed up my commitment to work?  Passion projects.
It's easy to get caught up in a fast-paced work environment where the desire to contribute, impress your colleagues/boss, support your team, or get involved in something meaningful can lead to over-commitment. While you may initially feel motivated and energized by committing heavily to new or exciting work, the reality is too much of a good thing at work can lead to stress, possible burnout and ultimately, impacts to your productivity. But when you’re passionate about a project or a particular aspect of your work (like I was), it's easy to get carried away and take on more than you can handle. 
 
I’ve worked in many amazing organizations, and had to learn for myself not to get caught up in all the things I could do that would make a meaningful difference. I’d often get so wrapped up in delivering on projects and commitments that supported my employees and our organization I’d end up ignoring my own needs.  I pushed my work week up to 80 hours, and then the consequences hit.  Exhaustion, physical symptoms (like muscle and back pain) coupled with an unhappy family at home would all pile on right at the point in time I needed to deliver on my big promises.  It’s not a recipe for success (professionally or personally).
 
Not everyone’s path to burnout is through a passion for the work they do.  Here are some other common ways you may get lured into over-committing yourself at work:

• Fear of missing out (FOMO):  You want to be involved in everything that's happening at work, and you don't want to miss out on any opportunities to showcase your skills, be more visible to your boss (or your boss’s boss) or prove your worth. This FOMO mentality can lead to over-commitment and taking on more than you can reasonably handle (or deliver).
  
  
• Over-expression of values:  You want to deliver to the highest quality standard, the most stringent level of detail or the most robust outcome you possibly can because it’s what you expect of yourself, or what you feel the work/organization/client deserve… but it’s way more than your boss asked you to do.  It’s a toxic mix that makes you feel over-worked and under-appreciated and can lead to burnout.
  
  
• A Desire for recognition and approval:  We all want to be recognized for our hard work and achievements, but sometimes that desire may mean you over-commit yourself in the hope of receiving praise and approval from others.  The desire for recognition can be a slippery slope, as taking on too much work can ultimately lead to missed deadlines, compromised quality and a decline in performance as well as your wellbeing.
  
  
• Scope creep:  Sometimes over-commitment happens without your express permission.  You say “Yes” to something, and then discover it’s a whole lot more commitment than you bargained for, but don’t know how to get out of it.  Or you took something on that was reasonable, only to have it grow out of control (because of outside factors, or because you are so good at what you do your organization wants more).  While it feels vulnerable to admit it’s too much or to just say no, getting your boss or organization to understand what’s needed for success can keep you from reaching critical capacity and failing unexpectedly (burning out along the way).
  
  
• Pressure from colleagues or superiors:  You may get pressure to work as much and as hard as everyone else, as a way of being accepted, or to feel like you belong.  You may also be asked to take on additional work from colleagues or your boss who struggle with their own workload. While it's important to fit in and be a team player, recognizing your own limitations and only taking on what you can responsibly complete means you’ll be available to help in the long run, rather than flaming out.
  
  
• To protect your staff: As a leader, wanting to protect employees can also contribute to over-commitment at work. It's natural to want to shield your team from stress and workload, but in doing so, you may end up taking on too much work yourself. This is especially true for managers or team leaders who feel responsible for ensuring that their employees are not overworked or overwhelmed. While it's important to protect your employees and ensure that they’re not overburdened, you also need to recognize the importance of your own work/life moderation (or you might not be there to protect them at all).

 
There’ll always be reasons to take on more commitments at work: These are never in short supply.  The hard part is remembering the cost of over-commitment.  Passion and enthusiasm are great qualities to have, but it's important to recognize your own limitations and not take on more than you can handle.

​To avoid burnout and maintain productivity, it's important to recognize your boundaries, scaling your work accordingly (and any associated expectations). By doing so, you can achieve your goals (and those of your organization) without sacrificing your health and well-being. This also means you’ll be able to achieve all the commitments you need to over your long and successful career.