Mastering Stressful Interpersonal Communication

​Ever wanted to be better at communicating in stressful circumstances?  Me too, it’s a life skill super power. But no matter how many communication classes and workshops I went on, this skill illuded me when I needed it most – during difficult conversations.  It’s like there was something missing in the content.  And there was; understanding the role my feelings played in being able to navigate these decisive, and sometimes emotionally-charged, exchanges.  
 
Being aware of your emotions is crucial for developing strong interpersonal communication skills as well as your emotional health, but it’s not a topic that’s commonly found in professional development content.  Emotional health refers to the overall wellbeing of your emotional state, including the ability to cope with stress, manage emotions, and maintain healthy relationships (all of which can help make you a better communicator). 
 
Here are four ways emotional health can increase your interpersonal communication skills:

1. Self-Awareness: Emotional health helps you become more aware of your own emotions and how they affect your communication. When you’re in tune with your own feelings, you’re better able to express yourself in a clear and effective manner. This self-awareness also allows you to recognize when you’re experiencing emotional barriers, such as anxiety or defensiveness, that may sabotage your ability to communicate effectively.
2. Empathy: Emotional health enables you to develop empathy towards others. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. When you’re emotionally in tune with yourself, you’re more likely to be compassionate and empathetic with others. This skill allows you to connect with people on a deeper level, leading to better communication and stronger relationships.
3. Conflict Resolution: Emotional health provides you with the essential tools needed to resolve conflicts in a healthy and productive way. When you’re emotionally healthy, you’re less likely to become defensive, avoidant or reactive during a disagreement. Instead, you’re better able to listen to others, understand their perspectives, and work towards finding a resolution that satisfies both of you. This skill is essential for maintaining positive relationships and avoiding unnecessary tension and conflict.
4. Self-compassion:  Emotional health ensures you’re more able to be compassionate with yourself. Being able to forgive yourself for mistakes and transgressions, recognizing they’re a moment in time and don’t define you as a person allows you to love yourself “warts and all”.  Your level of self-compassion guides how open you are to the feelings, experiences and perspectives of others.  It also signifies when you need to communicate to safeguard a healthy boundary for your wellbeing. Cultivating self-compassion means you’ll have more empathy available for others, which includes knowing when to apologize to repair a relationship. 

 
These four things also help you with another key component of emotional health; optimism.  Optimism is the ability to have a positive attitude and outlook on life; it involves remaining hopeful and resilient, despite occasional setbacks. When you’re feeling optimistic (about yourself, life, work, etc.), you’re better equipped to handle stress, manage your emotions, and connect with others in meaningful ways, which also goes a long way towards preventing dissatisfaction and burnout at work. 
 
Emotions play a critical role in developing strong interpersonal communication skills, but it’s not included as a topic in most communication workshops and classes. By cultivating self-awareness, empathy, self-compassion and conflict resolution skills, you can improve your ability to connect with others and build meaningful relationships based on trust. These skills can be applied to all aspects of your life, from personal relationships to professional ones, and can ultimately lead to a happier and more fulfilling life, creating a work life you can love.

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