How To Gift Yourself A Happy Holiday

Frustration is one of those feelings that comes sharply, then lingers.  It may take up mental real estate or drain your energy trying to manage the feelings that come with being frustrated by something outside of your control.  It can feel even more acute at this time of the year, when you're trying to hold on to the “magic” of the holidays, or create magic for others. 

I find the Christmas season makes me more vulnerable towards frustration, in myself or others,  through circumstances that get in the way of feeling the holiday spirit “What do you mean exactly when you say this is ‘out of stock’?!”.

Nowhere does this take root more than at work, which can feel like a real sprint to the finish line as the year closes.  Getting things finished up for year-end (calendar or fiscal).  Working to get your desk and in-box cleared out so you can relax over the extended holiday.  Doing a self-review (since year end is often the kick-off to performance review and reflection in many companies).  Possibly waiting to see if there is a “bonus” coming, and if there is, is it what you expected?  Waiting to hear from management about additional paid time off between Christmas and New Year’s (AKA company-wide shut-down for the holidays)? “What do you mean exactly when you say we’re shutting down but you need me to be ‘available’?!”

And in the midst of all of this personal lives are often just nuts in the dash up to the holidays (sometimes even over the holidays). Trying to find meaningful gifts for people who need nothing more than your time and attention (which is in limited supply…) creates frustration.  Often feeling like you do not have the time or capacity to really do the holiday’s justice, and by now (mid-December) you're on the path to just getting through to the big day; “What do you mean exactly by ‘Your brother needs to bring his wife’s family along for dinner too on Christmas Day or they can’t come’?!”

As tempting as it is to just put your head down and plow through, intuitively you know that puts the enjoyment of this season even further from your reach.  So, here are a few tips to get you to the holiday break before your holiday spirit is broken.

1. Check in on expectations...of yourself.  You know you are never going to get to all of it (as you had envisioned it back in October when Christmas was a still a beautiful, shimmering idea), so what can go?  No one is really going to notice if you wrapped something in a "special way" (like the videos on social media demonstrate with a tempting ease that defies reality) OR if you put it in a gift bag with hastily "zhuzhed" tissue paper.  It’s all going to be recycling on Boxing Day. Those special cookies (or other yummy dishes) you didn't make? Extra calories that won't be missed with all the other things on offer.
2. Gentle, firm boundaries.  You do not have to bake at the last minute for your kid’s hockey team holiday party (or the office’s)  because of the organizer's panic.  You do not have to be the one that “saves” the day to make an occasion special.  You can be empathetic and still say “no” without justifying why.  You are not Santa.
3. You are a gift.  You are a wonderful spouse, parent, sibling, employee, friend and child.  You are enough just as you are, no embellishment needed.  
4. 
   

Remember the greatest gift you can give to others this year is you (your undivided attention, for moments at a time).  The greatest gift you will receive this year is the love and support of others, at home and at work.  Be ready to give and receive this most precious of gifts.

Celebrate the season by being present for every moment, and you'll experience the magic…because you are the magic.
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 “You are a gift.  Open up, be present.” ~ Unknown

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