How to Build Healthy Boundaries

Before I started my coaching practice 10 years ago, I worked in different corporate Human Resources roles.  Each organization I worked for was compelling and exciting.  Often, I’d fall in love with what they were trying to do and end up over-committing myself, working ridiculous hours.  This is not the way to love your working life, it’s the path to possible burnout. Holding healthy boundaries at work is essential for maintaining your wellbeing, which includes having work/life moderation and building realistic expectations with your colleagues and manager.
 
Here are my “lessons learned from the corporate trenches”; tips on how to establish and maintain healthy boundaries at work so you can avoid over-commitment and burnout:
 

• Define your boundaries: Identify what’s important to you (at work and at home), what you’re comfortable with, and what you’re not. This could be related to your workload, work schedule, personal space, communication, or any other aspect of your job. Once you define your boundaries, communicate them clearly and respectfully to your colleagues and manger.
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• Be assertive: Assertiveness is crucial when it comes to setting and enforcing boundaries. When someone crosses a boundary, address it directly but respectfully. State your boundaries clearly and explain why they’re important to you. Be firm and assertive while still being respectful and professional.
  
  
• Learn to say no: Saying no is one of the most powerful ways to establish and maintain healthy boundaries. Saying yes to everything leads to burnout and resentment, frustrating relationships when you can’t deliver because you have too much on your plate:  It's important to learn to say no when you need to. Be clear and firm in your refusal, but offer an alternative solution whenever possible.
  
  
• Prioritize self-care: Taking care of yourself is key to maintaining healthy boundaries at work. Make sure you take breaks when you need to, set aside time for yourself outside of work, and engage in activities that help you relax and recharge during your personal time.
  
  
• Seek support: If you're struggling to establish or maintain healthy boundaries, seek support from a trusted colleague, friend, or career coach. They can provide you with valuable advice, feedback, and perspective.

While each of these steps sounds simple, they can take consideration and practice, to support you through any emotional challenges you face in being assertive or saying no, working with any feelings of guilt for prioritizing yourself.   One way to ease feelings of guilt is to provide a brief explanation for your decision. For example, you might say, "I'm sorry, I won't be able to take on that project because I’m working on a priority deadline right now." This helps the other person understand why you're saying no, citing business needs to depersonalize your refusal and reducing any potential misunderstandings.  If it’s your manager asking, remind them of the things you have assigned to you and ask which one is the priority, and which ones can wait.  Recognizing your capacity and what’s realistically going to get done helps to negotiate healthy expectations you can meet.
 
It's also helpful to remember you have the right to say no and prioritize your own needs.  While providing a work-based explanation for your decision to say no is respectful, recognize you don’t have to share personal commitments as a way to explain why you can’t take something on (it’s none of their business that you have a hot date with a bubble bath). It's not selfish to take care of yourself or to prioritize your loved ones.  Setting boundaries leads to increased productivity and creativity at work in the long run, meaning your investment in yourself will pay off for both you and your organization.
 
Holding healthy boundaries at work is essential to creating a work life you can love, one where you have a positive relationship with your colleagues and manager. By defining your boundaries, being assertive, learning to say no, prioritizing self-care, and seeking support (guilt free), you’re looking after the most precious resource you’re responsible for – you.

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