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EMPOWER YOUR
​WORKING LIFE

How Do You Handle Pressure?

11/28/2018

 
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Did you know we each have a “favourite” stress response?  The expression of stress is unique to each of us, and to the situation we are in, but we have a “go to” stress expression when the inevitable peace shattering, *stuff* hitting-the-fan event happens.  We either express anger, shame or anxiety; sometimes just one and sometimes all three in a “merry-go-round” from hell.  Which of the three we typically start with when overwhelmed by emotions is an expression of our core belief.  “Core Beliefs are deep-seated perceptions that everyone has about the world in which we live, work and play. Core Beliefs impact how we think, feel and behave as well as how we interact with other people and our general view of the world.” (Peter Barow, Core Beliefs). Each of us use our core beliefs to make decisions, they are useful in helping us navigate the world.  However, a core belief is ever-present so its there “helping” you navigate when you are stressed too.

  • If when overwhelmed by emotion you are trying to manage rage (in the forms of irritation, exasperation, annoyance, frustration, anger, etc. …), you likely work very intuitively, which means when anger shows up you are trying to express it skillfully (an unreasonable expectation leading to more stress), trying to deny it, or repress it (keeping it inside).  
  • If when you are stressed you are managing feelings of shame (embarrassment, humiliation, indignity, pride, etc. …), you likely feel things very deeply, which means when shame shows up you are try to define (or re-define) yourself through your work and through others (re-confirming you are still accepted and or accomplished in what you do). 
  • If when you are overcome with unwanted feelings you are trying to manage anxiety (apprehension, nervous-ness, worry, fear, unease, etc. …), you likely worry about how this impacts your future and may turn away from projects or conversations at work because they make you feel things you don’t want to feel.
 
In these descriptions we can feel our instinctual reactions to stress, disappointment, etc.  What’s important to remember here is while we may not always like it, being emotional isn’t a bad thing; we are emotional when we are excited about something, or when we feel tears of joy.  Your instinctual stress response appears when your behaviour surrenders to the pressure you are under, and so begins the “merry-go-round”.  While one of these responses is your “go to”, you can easily move into all three; you forgot a deadline at work (shame), someone was less-than professional about calling you out on it (anger) and now you are worried everyone thinks this way of you (anxiety).  Merry-go-round from hell.  Round and round the feelings go, and when it stops nobody knows.  The longer you stay on it, the more entrenched the overwhelming feelings get, the more frequently they come visit you, the faster the merry-go-round spins keeping you on it longer each time…and you ask yourself things like ”Why is this happening to me!!!!”
 
You do control how long you are on that merry-go-round, and this can be accomplished with just a few simple but intentional actions.  First, get familiar with identifying when you are on the merry-go-round and (when you are there), rather than asking yourself “Why is this happening to me?” ask yourself “What is this trying to teach me?”  The act of re-framing what is happening stops the carousel of chaos, letting you off to begin a much better journey, one filled with curiosity and self-compassion.
 
(The three stress responses is based on the work of Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson, The Wisdom of the Enneagram, Triadic Self, page 49 – 59)
 
“Failure has always been a part of the plan.  Without it, we don’t grow.”  ~ Carleen Hicks

Photo credit:  Ben White on Unsplash

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  • Work With Carleen
    • About Carleen
    • Career Strategy Session >
      • Get The Most Out Of Your Career Strategy Session
    • Listen Up
    • Coaching Programs >
      • Lead with Impact
      • Career Impact
      • Purpose to Impact
      • Recognize Your Leadership Potential >
        • Welcome to Recognizing Your Leadership Potential
      • Realize Your High Potential
      • The Art of Influence at Work
      • Your Time By Design
      • Assessment
    • Book Me To Speak >
      • Persuasive at Work
      • Workshops That Work >
        • Getting Hybrid Right
        • Leading a Hybrid Team Workshop
        • Communicating Comfortably in a Hybrid Setting Workshop
        • Finding Your Leadership Compass Hybrid Teams Workshop
        • Communicating Comfortably in a Virtual Setting Workshop
        • Career Health Check Workshop
        • Leading in Ambiguity Workshop
        • Accomplishing Work Through Others Workshop
        • My Values Driven Workplace Workshop
        • Leading Teams Virtually Workshop
        • Working Successfully From Home Workshop
        • New Habits for Life Workshop
        • Valued Living Workshop
        • Working Resilience
        • Addressing Conflict Workshop
        • The Many Faces of Unconscious Bias Workshop
        • Building A Culture of Trust Workshop
        • Time Management Workshop
        • Business Intelligence of Empathy Workshop
        • Finding Your Leadership Compass Workshop
        • Foundational Conversations Workshop
        • Conscious Conversations Workshop
        • Leading with Emotional Intelligence Workshop
        • Success in A Mulitgenerational Workforce Workshop
        • Networking in A Digital Age Workshop
        • The Psychology of Decisions Workshop
        • Purpose Driven Feedback Workshop
        • Dynamic Team Communication Workshop
    • Awards
  • Client Stories
  • Blog
  • Testimonials
  • Free Resources
    • Summer Serenity Inspiration Guide
    • Working Life Wellbeing Assessment
    • Hidden Habits Holding You Back
    • Secrets to Boost Your Job Security
    • Working Life Serenity
    • Virtual Influence
    • Hello Monday Videos
    • Career Resources
    • Life Practices >
      • I Feel Angry
      • I Feel Stuck
      • I Am Overwhelmed
      • I Need Self-Compassion
      • Emotions At Work
      • Mindfulness
      • Triggers At Work
      • Naming Emotions
      • I Feel Frustrated
    • Balancing Time Workbook
    • Working Life Persona Quiz
    • Career Health Quiz
    • Healthy Boundaries Quiz
  • Referral Partners
  • Connect