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Climbing Out Of A Rut

8/1/2018

 
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Photo by Alistair MacRobert on Unsplash

Around this time of the year I lose access to contentment – I get the “July blues”, it happens every summer.  There is no reason for it, in fact the conditions in my life are never better than they are in summer to relax; my workload is lighter, the weather is often beautiful (always beautiful if you compare it to the weather mid-January in Canada).  My family is happy and healthy, having fun summer adventures, and a vacation is right around the corner.  So what gives?
 
I look for patterns and trends to “diagnose” my rut.  There must be a problem somewhere in there that I can solve; these things don’t just happen for no reason (right?)!  And that is what perpetuates my fugue…an attachment to there being a reason.  Whether there is one or not is less important than my ability to be open to what is happening in the moment and letting that guide me into what is next.  In other words, we cannot find our well-being and contentment in the same place where we lost it. Albert Einstein probably illuminated this best when he said “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” Ruts beget deeper ruts if all I focus on is “diagnosing what’s wrong”.
 
So what to do? Remembering that my contentment is always available to me, that it is a constant stream that threads throughout my whole life with perpetual access, is the key.  It is the same for each of us.  I often write about the difficulties of the human way of being, the struggles we each face to be our best, etc.  Here there is a beautiful benefit to being human, for while we may often focus on the things that are not as we want them, the human way of being is a balanced equation.  We may not always get what we want, but we always have access to what we need, as long as we are willing to get out of our own way to access it.
 
Getting out of my way meant not putting so much emphasis on striving to wring every last bit of gratitude and pleasure out of our very short summer season.  To stop comparing my summer to the photos of other people’s summers. To recognize when I put conditions on my enjoyment, like having the “right” summer weather, everyone in a good mood, or a fun, new activity planned (with easy parking).  To be better able to be in the moment, feeling the sunshine on my face, enjoying my garden, listening to the cicadas or tasting the rain.  Counting the stars at night.  Not eliminating my expectations, but recognizing when I have one and checking to see if it is serving my well-being in any meaningful way, and when it doesn’t, giving myself permission to let it go.
 
In a healthy life, peacefulness resides in each of us, but only if we have the courage to embrace it.  Go on, run through your sprinkler, I’ll bet it’s been years since you’ve done that!
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10/5/2018 09:18:39 pm

Contentment is a big word, it consists a lot of patience and understanding and also some love. Whenever you feel burdens eating you, always think about the process on why you keep on moving forward. I guess that would be a big help whenever you are struggling. Giving yourself a chance to be forgiven makes you stronger. Sometimes, the only enemy that we have is ourself and that makes life complicated. We can forgive others if we forgive ourselves too and I guess, we should not depend on time alone everytime.


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  • Work With Carleen
    • About Carleen
    • Career Strategy Session >
      • Get The Most Out Of Your Career Strategy Session
    • Podcasts
    • Coaching Programs >
      • Lead with Impact
      • Career Impact
      • Purpose to Impact
      • Recognize Your Leadership Potential >
        • Welcome to Recognizing Your Leadership Potential
      • Realize Your High Potential
      • The Art of Influence at Work
      • Your Time By Design
      • Assessment
    • Book Me To Speak >
      • Persuasive at Work
      • Workshops That Work >
        • Getting Hybrid Right
        • Leading a Hybrid Team Workshop
        • Communicating Comfortably in a Hybrid Setting Workshop
        • Finding Your Leadership Compass Hybrid Teams Workshop
        • Communicating Comfortably in a Virtual Setting Workshop
        • Leading in Ambiguity Workshop
        • Accomplishing Work Through Others Workshop
        • My Values Driven Workplace Workshop
        • Working Successfully From Home Workshop
        • Working Resilience
        • The Many Faces of Unconscious Bias Workshop
        • Building A Culture of Trust Workshop
        • Finding Your Leadership Compass Workshop
        • Foundational Conversations Workshop
        • Conscious Conversations Workshop
        • Purpose Driven Feedback Workshop
        • Dynamic Team Communication Workshop
    • Awards
  • Client Stories
  • Blog
  • Testimonials
  • Free Resources
    • Summer Serenity Inspiration Guide
    • Working Life Wellbeing Assessment
    • Hidden Habits Holding You Back
    • Secrets to Boost Your Job Security
    • Working Life Serenity
    • Virtual Influence
    • Hello Monday Videos
    • Career Resources
    • Life Practices >
      • I Feel Angry
      • I Feel Stuck
      • I Am Overwhelmed
      • I Need Self-Compassion
      • Emotions At Work
      • Mindfulness
      • Triggers At Work
      • Naming Emotions
      • I Feel Frustrated
    • Balancing Time Workbook
    • Working Life Persona Quiz
    • Career Health Quiz
    • Healthy Boundaries Quiz
  • Referral Partners
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  • Subscribe
  • The Career Edit