7 Things to Avoid Saying to Improve Your Performance Evaluation

Ever feel like you’ve stuck your foot in your mouth?  Or an entire shoe store?  It always happens at the worst possible time!
 
That’s what happens to many professionals during their performance evaluation (and other critical career conversations at work).  It’s often hard to know what you said that made you less credible, you just know things were fine one minute, and then everything seemed to go downhill.
 
It’s so easy to do.  Your choice of words, tone of voice, even your body language makes a big difference in how your words are perceived by another person.  This gets amplified with a power dynamic in play (like speaking with your boss).  It’s even further amplified when it’s a crucial conversation – and performance reviews can feel crucial (it’s only your career’s future and financial outcome that hangs on this conversation).
 
If only there was a way to avoid common communication pitfalls in these types of conversations!  
 
There is. 
 
Check out these 7 things you should NEVER say in your performance evaluation to keep your career nicely on track:

• Exclusively use “we” language.  Nothing gets done in a vacuum at work – what we do is often very interconnected.  That said, your performance review is the place to make the distinction between what the team did and what part you played in making it a success.  Acknowledging the team is a good move, but be clear about what you did, making “I” statements.  “I’ve enjoyed working with our team, they motivate me to be at my best.  An example of this would be the XYZ project, where I ensured…”
• Agree, agree, agree.  Often, we want a performance evaluation conversation to be as brief as possible, which may mean you start agreement head bobbing (even saying “Yes, yes”, “I know” and “Of course”) to show you’re listening, when what you really may be doing is trying to get this done without feeling anything you don’t want to.  Great (even good) performance evaluations include three things.  Highlights of your specific accomplishments, recognition of your efforts and how your work makes a difference, and clear, compassionate feedback (which should include constructive criticism, identifying your opportunities for growth).  In other words, you need to be prepared feel something during your review.  Becoming a “bobble head” means even if you are getting a great review, you aren’t absorbing any of it.  If your review isn’t well done, you’ve just lost an opportunity to advocate for your accomplishments.  Listen to what your manager is saying, and be an active participant in this conversation.
• No “buts”.  There are times when you may need to defend your work.  Deadlines may have been missed, project scopes changed, client needs evolved, etc.  Nothing is ever conceived and executed perfectly to plan, so when your manager brings up mistakes, etc. listen carefully.  If you truly were not at fault, but feel like you’re receiving blame, consider this response; “Thank-you for that feedback, it’s really given me a lot to think about.  Would it be possible for me to take some time with it and then circle back with you tomorrow?  This is important and I want to get this right going forward.”  This gives you some time to thoughtfully craft a way to show your manager the truth, without coming off shady or defensive.
• No blame.  When you hear how your performance rating impacts your salary or bonus it may create a visceral response; “You said we were all on track to get our full bonus this year!”.  Saying “you” to your manager (the verbal equivalent of finger pointing) makes you look petulant, instantly losing credibility.  Consider an “I” statement instead; “I’m disappointed to hear of the impact to my bonus.  My understanding was I was on track for full bonus this year.  Can we talk about what changed?”    Same goes if your co-worker was the one who caused an issue, and your work got caught in the cross-fire – blaming others (no matter how accurate) does not make you look good (for a response option, see the "No 'buts'"suggestion above).
• No comparisons.  It’s human to compare yourself to others, but never ask your manager what others on your team were rated, or mention that you expect your rating to be higher than X’s.  You may also hear about your team mates’ ratings, and feel like your rating is unfair.  Keep in mind, performance ratings, like fish stories, get bigger every time they’re mentioned (and be suspicious of anyone actively broadcasting their performance rating, especially if no one asked).  If you’re genuinely concerned about how your performance is positioned on your team, consider asking this: “I appreciate the time it took you to put together this feedback, it’s very helpful.  I’m trying to understand my performance relative to the expectations of my time in this role.  Can you help me to better see if my performance is on track, and if not, what I should be focussing on in the next year?”
• Ask for (or expect) a raise.  Big mistake in your performance evaluation conversation.  Most organizations have a 2-step process; evaluation and then (weeks or months later) salary review.  It’s very likely your manager hasn’t even looked at salaries, yet.  That doesn’t mean you can’t be curious.  Consider asking the following; “With this performance outcome, am I a candidate for a salary review?” (Note the use of the word “review” not “increase” or “raise”). Accept that your manager may or may not know the answer to that question (but they can follow-up with you when they do).  You may also ask “When will the organization be communicating salary changes to individuals who receive one?”  Temper your expectations, your organizations’ ability to fund salary changes aren’t only dependant on your performance, but their financial health, the markets, economy, etc.
• Obvious “career-limiting” statements.  This should go without saying, blurting out things like “That’s not in my job description” and “I don’t think you fully appreciate what I have done this year” are complete credibility killers.  If you’re being asked to do things out of scope for your current role, consider saying something like: “That sounds like a great next-level opportunity.  Can we talk about how you’ll support me in doing that work, and where it fits in with my career progression at this company?”.  If you feel your performance has been under-recognized, listen attentively in your review and consider this: “Thank-you for your feedback, this is helpful.  I have additional accomplishments that I’ve noted for your consideration, and I’d like to share the business impact they’ve had this year.” Business impact is the “magic phrase” here, most managers will be curious enough to hear you out (do have specifics prepared, like hours saved, money saved, client satisfaction, etc.).

 
Always check your body positioning (uncross those arms), your facial expression (neutral but positive) and eye contact (consistent but not creepy).  Your tone of voice matters too, so if you need to take a moment before you respond to get it just right, then do it; an open and curious tone of voice supports credibility when you need to navigate communication in a performance evaluation.
 
There is a lot you don’t control in a performance evaluation, yet you control the most important person in this conversation – you.  Even if the initial review doesn’t go as planned, know you can ask for time to think, reflect and circle back to topics you want to re-visit.  In doing so you are empowering yourself to get the performance review you deserve (and gets you to your dream career).

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