6 Sure-fire Ways to Disarm Your Inner Critic to Enjoy Your Dream Career

It’s said that we are our own harshest critics.  But have you ever stopped to consider the cost of being so hard on yourself?
 
Yes, there is a cost, and it’s a steep one.  Unchecked, an inner critic is responsible for actively keeping you from taking healthy risks – the kind of everyday risks that support getting your dream career.
 
I’ll give you an example:  performance evaluations.  These are a great example of how your inner critic can have a field day with your self-esteem (if you let it).  
 
Let’s explore this; what is the most immediate response your brain sends you when considering these questions:

• “What did I do this year of significance?”
• “How does my work make a difference?”
• “When did my work stand-out to others?”
• “Who benefits from my daily work?”

 
If the first thing your brain gave you was objective, considered and measured responses, that is truly worth a celebration (good ice cream for you tonight)!  Seriously, that is a BIG accomplishment.
 
If your brain (like many) gave you crickets - or worse - judgement, then you have an active inner saboteur.  Sadly, this source of sabotage is ground zero for holding you back in your career.  
 
Let me be specific; an inner critic means you may not hold healthy boundaries at work (working way more hours than you need to).  You may not ask (or be thought of) for the interesting work assignments.  You may intentionally stay under the radar with your manager and others who could help your career.  Or (and this one is really soul crushing), you have a great career but are so anxious about your work and delivering that you aren’t enjoying it.
 
It’s time to disarm your inner critic.  Here’s how:

• Listen to your thoughts:  An inner critic gets away with a lot of bull sh*t because this saboteur has been with you for years.  While inner critics can help support reaching higher and trying harder, there is a cliff-like effect to the usefulness of negative feedback.  Go back to the questions I asked earlier and listen to your response; how are you speaking to yourself?  Would you speak this way to anyone else in your life?
• Disrupt the cycle. An inner critic can rise up and beat your brain into submission when you think your work lacks something.  When that loop plays in your head for hours (or days) it creates a pattern your brain is likely to return to and repeat, so the next time you find yourself lacking something you get to revisit all the residual emotions (shame, fear, anxiety) from all your past issues.  Stop this train at the station – dwelling on your perceived flaws CANNOT make you better at what you do (even if your inner critic thinks so). Acknowledging a flaw is only step 1 of a multi-step process – get to step 2, figuring out what you should do the next time you’re faced with the same circumstance/problem.  Step 3 – write down what you learned.  Step 4 – Make a commitment to yourself to action what you’ve learned by doing something different next time. Step 5 - honour your ability to do better (share what you learned with someone).
• Be friendly (to yourself). What would you tell a friend about their work?  It’s so much easier to see objectively when it isn’t your life and work, so pretend this thing your inner critic is hammering on about is happening to a friend – what would you tell them?
• Stop re-fueling it.  An inner critic runs on emotion: strong, uncomfortable emotion.  It’s the fuel it lives on, and the only way to diffuse it is to starve it with reality.  What evidence (not guesswork or assumptions) do you have for thinking that’s what happened (or will happen)?  Go back and walk through the issue with the eye of an impartial witness looking for evidence-based clues that what you’re feeling is justified.  Or have you blown things out of proportion (emotions will do that)?
• Use evidence.  Once you have more objectively looked at what’s bothering you about your work/performance, use that evidence.  Go back and re-write the script.  Take the emotional language out and put the rational, fact-based statements in.  Now how does that feel? 
• What’s the worst that could happen?  If your inner critic is not responding to the steps above, then take the story it’s telling you to its conclusion – if everything you think and feel were true, what would happen?  Your boss asks you to re-work a report, not a big deal.  A colleague gives you constructive feedback.  Ok.  That all shows is they care enough about the work you share, and your potential, to support you getting stronger in what you do.  An inner critic can be such a drama queen, sucking up the spotlight…and missing the point.

 
The truth is inner critics, imposter syndrome, etc. all “ring the catastrophe bell” in our psyches, telling us we are going to be “found out” and “fired”.  It makes preparing for your performance review an emotional process, not an objective or uplifting one.  Have you ever seen anyone get fired at a performance review?  Very few people (VERY FEW) are ever fired for their performance - at any time of the year.  You know this because in your career you likely worked with someone and wondered how they still had a job.

There is someone who can be fired - your inner critic (and you’re the only one who can do it).
 
Don’t let your inner critic hold you back, particularly during a performance evaluation; it’s the worst time to be passive about your career (or hard on yourself).  Listen to what your inner critic has to say, then strip out the catastrophizing, be real about the facts.  Celebrate what you’re learning by writing down answers to performance questions that tell the whole truth about your work this year.  

​AND if no one told you today, you’re amazing and your team is lucky to have you.

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