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5 Great Ways to Manage Up

10/18/2021

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Here’s something you didn’t know about me: I am a recovering micromanager.  I love organization and predictability in the things that can be organized and predictable, because there is so much at work that is neither of those things. It was my way of bringing order to chaos.
 
That is not a good reason to be a micromanager. It’s something I worked on early in my leadership career because this is what I learned micromanagement can’t do:
  • Make your employees feel safe to voice their expert opinions.  
  • Give your employees a consistent sense of belonging on your team.  
  • Provide the professional respect they deserve, because the underlying assumptions are that something is going to be missed or done wrong.
 
Micromanagement is a fear-based approach to leadership and everyone who’s ever been a leader has hit this “station” on the “leadership development train” (some disembark and set up camp, others just visit and move on).
 
I mention this in case you have a micromanager in your life, so you can manage up, with insight.  You see, common to all micromanagers is a deep caring about the work, and that’s the insight you need to help get a micromanager to relax their grip on your work.
 
Check out these examples of micromanagement, and what you can do about them:
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  • Triggers.  Micromanagers happen because they care very deeply about something.  Commitment to the client.  Concern about their standing/image at work.  Over-identifying with deadlines and deliveries.  Remember, its fear based, and there is often a pattern to it.  As an example, one of my clients realized her boss (who was a really nice guy) would get freaked out about deliverables after each monthly client call and start getting into everyone’s work (and on everyone’s nerves).  Then after and week or two he would settle down.  When she realized the pattern, she was able to work with him by being open and curious as to what his deepest concerns were after the client calls.  Once he voiced them, she was able to show him how the work she (and others) did addressed those concerns and he went back to being a nice guy to work for.
  • Culture.  Some organizations have a culture that incubates micromanagers.  These are often low-trust working environments.  Micromanagers model this style of management for other leaders, normalizing it, and they in turn micromanage their staff.  Another client I had the privilege to work with recognized there was an over-commitment of work creating a low-trust loop:  there is simply too much to get done so some of it didn’t, and the missed deadlines reduced leadership trust in the staff…round and round it went.  My client could see this micromanagement culture existed in the department and not the organization, and worked with me to move to a different department where there was a much healthier culture.
  • Trust.  The eye of the micromanagement hurricane is trust.  Because trust is inconsistent (or absent) you need to work on it with your manager.  Understanding what they care about at work, why it’s important to them, can illuminate the tools you have to do this.  A client of mine started his dream job, then his manager left and the one who replaced them was brand new to leadership.  That managers’ lack of confidence (in a fast-paced and dynamic environment) meant they constantly asked for updates.  My client realized what was contributing to this new managers’ concerns and talked to them about it, letting them know he’d send a brief weekly update by e-mail every Wednesday (in addition to their weekly one-on-one on Friday).  It worked, he saw less of his new manager and, over time as this manager relaxed into the position, the weekly e-mail updates weren’t needed.
  • Lack of awareness.  When micromanagement has you re-thinking your commitment to the team it’s time for an open and candid conversation with your manager (if you’re already thinking of leaving, what do you have to lose?)  It’s more than possible your manager has no idea they are micromanaging, nor its impact on you. This is a conversation that needs compassion to be front and center; compassion for you and your boss.  One of my client’s decided to give this a try.  She and I worked together on how to approach this difficult conversation and her practice paid off.  She opened by expressing how the lack of trust in her work made her feel (disrespected) and that she constantly felt like her work was never good enough.  This was a big surprise to her boss, who’d never had the intention to make her feel that way.  After more discussion they came to an understanding.  Continued open dialog has shifted this relationship and she is now very happy working for this leader.
  • Boundaries. One of the things that feels the most intrusive is the lack of boundaries with micromanagers; they just march in and walk all over your work with their assumptions and demands.  You have a move here, and that is to put boundaries back in place.  In addition to understanding triggers, building trust and awareness you can make the bold move to help your manager better respect boundaries.  One of my colleagues was a master at this; he would clarify the expectations of his work assignments with his micromanaging boss, and establish a frequency to keep his boss in the loop.  He held his boss to these agreements, with patience and compassion: “We agreed the first draft of the report would be in your in-box on Wednesday, and I can confirm it’s on track to meet that deadline.  Is there a reason you’re asking for it today?  Did anything change I should be aware of?”  Said with genuine concern this was often all that was needed to hold their agreed-upon boundaries in place.
 
Communication is key to empowering yourself with a micromanager, as is being clear about what is working for you and what isn’t.  As easy as it is to label, blame and judge a micromanager, that is noise and a distraction from what really needs your attention - open communication.  
 
Following these strategies, with insight and compassion, can keep your sanity at work, while building a better relationship with your boss.  Win/win.
Want the skills to manage up?  I can help.
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