Love Your Working Life
  • Work With Carleen
    • About Carleen
    • Career Strategy Session >
      • Get The Most Out Of Your Career Strategy Session
    • Listen Up
    • Coaching Programs >
      • Lead with Impact
      • Career Impact
      • Purpose to Impact
      • Recognize Your Leadership Potential >
        • Welcome to Recognizing Your Leadership Potential
      • Realize Your High Potential
      • The Art of Influence at Work
      • Your Time By Design
      • Assessment
    • Book Me To Speak >
      • Persuasive at Work
      • Workshops That Work >
        • Getting Hybrid Right
        • Leading a Hybrid Team Workshop
        • Communicating Comfortably in a Hybrid Setting Workshop
        • Finding Your Leadership Compass Hybrid Teams Workshop
        • Communicating Comfortably in a Virtual Setting Workshop
        • Career Health Check Workshop
        • Leading in Ambiguity Workshop
        • Accomplishing Work Through Others Workshop
        • My Values Driven Workplace Workshop
        • Leading Teams Virtually Workshop
        • Working Successfully From Home Workshop
        • New Habits for Life Workshop
        • Valued Living Workshop
        • Working Resilience
        • Addressing Conflict Workshop
        • The Many Faces of Unconscious Bias Workshop
        • Building A Culture of Trust Workshop
        • Time Management Workshop
        • Business Intelligence of Empathy Workshop
        • Finding Your Leadership Compass Workshop
        • Foundational Conversations Workshop
        • Conscious Conversations Workshop
        • Leading with Emotional Intelligence Workshop
        • Success in A Mulitgenerational Workforce Workshop
        • Networking in A Digital Age Workshop
        • The Psychology of Decisions Workshop
        • Purpose Driven Feedback Workshop
        • Dynamic Team Communication Workshop
    • Awards
  • Client Stories
  • Blog
  • Testimonials
  • Free Resources
    • Summer Serenity Inspiration Guide
    • Working Life Wellbeing Assessment
    • Hidden Habits Holding You Back
    • Secrets to Boost Your Job Security
    • Working Life Serenity
    • Virtual Influence
    • Hello Monday Videos
    • Career Resources
    • Life Practices >
      • I Feel Angry
      • I Feel Stuck
      • I Am Overwhelmed
      • I Need Self-Compassion
      • Emotions At Work
      • Mindfulness
      • Triggers At Work
      • Naming Emotions
      • I Feel Frustrated
    • Balancing Time Workbook
    • Working Life Persona Quiz
    • Career Health Quiz
    • Healthy Boundaries Quiz
  • Referral Partners
  • Connect
BLOG

EMPOWER YOUR
​WORKING LIFE

4 Easy Tips So You Can Disagree with Your Boss and Thrive at Work

1/11/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
Ever felt like you were about to lose your cool at work because of a decision your boss was making?
 
That’s exactly what my client was experiencing, and she’d reached out just in case she ended up losing it (her cool and her job).  I’d helped her with career transition in the past, but what she didn’t know when she called was that I would help her keep her job AND disagree with her boss too.
 
Every professional has a “line in the sand” that cannot be crossed. Many don’t know what to do when, inevitably, even the most well-intentioned boss crosses it.  Whether it’s interrupting you when you have the floor in a meeting, constantly reversing positions on an urgent issue, or making a short-sighted decision that has inescapable future risks (only you can see) there will be times when you need to disagree with your boss.
 
Here’s why.  In today’s modern organizations, professionals have more insight supporting business impact than at any other point in history.  Flat, agile organizations rely on both hard data and experienced insight, because with the pace of today’s workplaces your boss no longer knows all the same things you do (like they would have in the 1960’s).  Sure, your boss may have more years under their belt, but by mid-career most professionals are in roles where your organization relies on your professional acumen, bringing different perspectives and information to the table that are specific to your unique field of view in the organization.  So, one of your unenviable tasks is to disagree with your boss as a way to strengthen organizational decision making on key issues.
 
Or, as my client put it, you need to “poke the bear”.  Here’s how do that and live to see your career flourish.

  • Build what you need before you need it.  There is an alarming belief that being “good” at work means you never sponsor disagreement or conflict.  Conflict has a bad rap, but it’s vital to organizational performance and your career, but not the unprofessional drama-based conflict that comes to mind.  This is the professional, sometimes heated debate, that is needed to deeply explore issues and options that may not be popular or carry a higher element of risk (i.e., healthy conflict). Before you have one of these conversations you need to build the expectation with your boss that they will happen. Have discussions about your way forward in a disagreement (including how no one will take them personally) so this debate can benefit your boss, organization, and ultimately your career future.

    “Remember that series of conversations we had a few months back about not always being in a position to agree with each other?  I have a different perspective on the decision you’re making, and I’d like you to hear me out so we can look at options we may not have considered, but could move us closer to the result we all need with less cost…”
 
  • Start with the common goal.  The cornerstone of disagreeing professionally is demonstrating your intention to honour what you both share; specifically, stating the outcome, impact or result you know your boss (and the organization) needs.  Signalling that clearly before you go into alternate options, benefits or highlighting risks does two key things; one, it de-personalizes your critique of your boss’s approach and two, it gives you a window to work in based on “the benefit of the doubt”.  While your boss may not initially agree with your opinion, they will give you more time to explain your position if they’re assured it’s in service to getting to a place they want to go.

    “We know this project needs to be a success.  Specifically, we need to meet all our new client’s expectations, while lowering our cost for delivering this work – our reputation is riding on this.  My team has come up with a way we can move our margins from 5% to 12% on this project.  This could be achieved by rethinking…”
 
  • Respect.  Respect. Respect.  You need to trust yourself to both have made the right call AND communicate with integrity which, includes demonstrating respect for you and your boss.  This means: your words, tone of voice and body language need to match your intention (and certainty) in bringing this contentious issue/idea forward.  This also signals your goal is not unhealthy conflict (or undermining your boss), but clarity on viable options that support everyone’s ongoing success at work.  You can’t do that if you don’t respect yourself AND your boss… and have been consistent in demonstrating that respect before a disagreement pops up.

    “I respect your concern around the time it will take to do this.  There is a greater risk we’ll slip our current deadline with this approach.  That said, the intention here is to find cost savings that won’t impact our delivery - if we ask the client now for a one-week extension to our initial deadline, we’ll realize these cost savings with no risk to our quality and reputation.”
 
  • Earned Trust.  Your boss needs to trust you in order to entertain the idea of having healthy debate and disagreement as a natural part of your ways of working.  For that you need to earn their trust, and vice-versa.  Keep in mind, you don’t need to like your boss to trust that they will listen when it’s in their best interests to do so. You also don’t need to be liked to be considered reliable, informed and trustworthy.  You simply need to be consistent in your respect and intentions not just for what you do, but how you do it.  That’s why asking for the opportunity to disagree with your boss is key, but so is giving your boss every reason to give that opportunity to you.
 
My client was able to disagree with her boss and thrive.  She invested in a tight and timely mini-coaching program (over just a few days) where she built the confidence and awareness she needed to get in front of her boss, and respectfully disagree with their position.  She’ll tell you it was far from perfect, but because she maintained her conviction and open-ness to healthy debate, she communicated with respect, influencing a far better outcome then the original one her boss was heading towards.
 
And, she received a promotion out of it.  Not immediately, but within the year she became the boss.  Not an outcome she was expecting when she called me out of concern for her career’s future.
 
You don’t have to face all your career challenges alone; coaching can be strategic, timely and (best of all), pay for itself.
Carleen introduced me to options I didn't even know I had at work.  This was key to me making strong choices that supported what I wanted in my career.  It was easier than I thought once I started working with someone who had been there."
Need more easy career tips?  I've got just the place!  Working Life Serenity Facebook Group!

Join For Free Today!
Picture
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Subscribe 

    Looking for a Blog? Search here:

    ABOUT MY BLOG

    I believe in empowering others in many tangible ways.  When I learn new career strategies  or see something that might help others, I share it using my blog and website. 

    View my profile on LinkedIn

    Archives

    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    August 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    October 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    December 2013

All photography on my website is courtesy of the generous artists at Pexels and Unsplash.
Book Your Career Strategy Session
Privacy Policy
Integral Coach™ is a registered trade-mark in Canada owned by Integral Coaching Canada Inc. and licensed to Carleen Hicks.

  • Work With Carleen
    • About Carleen
    • Career Strategy Session >
      • Get The Most Out Of Your Career Strategy Session
    • Listen Up
    • Coaching Programs >
      • Lead with Impact
      • Career Impact
      • Purpose to Impact
      • Recognize Your Leadership Potential >
        • Welcome to Recognizing Your Leadership Potential
      • Realize Your High Potential
      • The Art of Influence at Work
      • Your Time By Design
      • Assessment
    • Book Me To Speak >
      • Persuasive at Work
      • Workshops That Work >
        • Getting Hybrid Right
        • Leading a Hybrid Team Workshop
        • Communicating Comfortably in a Hybrid Setting Workshop
        • Finding Your Leadership Compass Hybrid Teams Workshop
        • Communicating Comfortably in a Virtual Setting Workshop
        • Career Health Check Workshop
        • Leading in Ambiguity Workshop
        • Accomplishing Work Through Others Workshop
        • My Values Driven Workplace Workshop
        • Leading Teams Virtually Workshop
        • Working Successfully From Home Workshop
        • New Habits for Life Workshop
        • Valued Living Workshop
        • Working Resilience
        • Addressing Conflict Workshop
        • The Many Faces of Unconscious Bias Workshop
        • Building A Culture of Trust Workshop
        • Time Management Workshop
        • Business Intelligence of Empathy Workshop
        • Finding Your Leadership Compass Workshop
        • Foundational Conversations Workshop
        • Conscious Conversations Workshop
        • Leading with Emotional Intelligence Workshop
        • Success in A Mulitgenerational Workforce Workshop
        • Networking in A Digital Age Workshop
        • The Psychology of Decisions Workshop
        • Purpose Driven Feedback Workshop
        • Dynamic Team Communication Workshop
    • Awards
  • Client Stories
  • Blog
  • Testimonials
  • Free Resources
    • Summer Serenity Inspiration Guide
    • Working Life Wellbeing Assessment
    • Hidden Habits Holding You Back
    • Secrets to Boost Your Job Security
    • Working Life Serenity
    • Virtual Influence
    • Hello Monday Videos
    • Career Resources
    • Life Practices >
      • I Feel Angry
      • I Feel Stuck
      • I Am Overwhelmed
      • I Need Self-Compassion
      • Emotions At Work
      • Mindfulness
      • Triggers At Work
      • Naming Emotions
      • I Feel Frustrated
    • Balancing Time Workbook
    • Working Life Persona Quiz
    • Career Health Quiz
    • Healthy Boundaries Quiz
  • Referral Partners
  • Connect