The Empty Letter

At this time of year I like to reflect on all that I am grateful for in my life, which comes to me in quiet moments and then is gone with the rush of the season.  It’s not that I am ungrateful, it’s that I haven’t exactly made the time to be grateful with intention.  Then last December I was challenged to express gratitude to others in a meaningful way as part of the completion of my Masters certification in coaching.  Our class had just been through an epic 8-month journey together, exploring our deepest selves by becoming more skilled in our coaching, and we were tasked with expressing to our classmates what we most appreciated about each of them. Simple words, sincerely meant, to leave an indelible mark of remembrance on our time together and shape the future of our connection going forward.  I’ll admit that I was completely rung out! I felt overwhelmed by this simple, yet beautiful, request.  The coursework and self-development needed to get to certification was the culmination of a three-year journey and I was beyond exhausted.  And yet, when I took the time to appreciate what it was our teachers were asking us to give to one another I was moved, and so began the realization of a new way to express gratitude.  What followed were 16 succinctly written letters expressing loving kindness – the words just poured out.  It was cathartic, moving and completely intentional.  When I was done I felt better than I had in years.
 
Fast forward to this year when a new challenge arose.  Write a letter expressing compassion to yourself. 

• What do I love the most about myself?
• What do I appreciate the most about myself?
• What do I most want to thank myself for?
• What do I wish for myself in the future?

The page remained blank.  Nothing poured out.  My normally generative brain went eerily silent.  How hard could this be?  All I needed were some simple words, sincerely meant.  It’s been one of the toughest things I have ever had to write. 

But I am not alone.  Many of us cannot express in words (written or spoken) how we feel about ourselves.  We cannot liberally apply to ourselves the self-compassion we so generously offer to others (through forethought and intention, or in a pop-up moment).  Sadly this limitation (for that is what this is) then holds us back from putting our whole self into the world; into the love of our families, into work we love, into making a difference, into realizing our great potential.  We can only give to others as much love as we hold for ourselves.
 
So as this Christmas season unfolds, here is a challenge for you. Write this letter to yourself (or record one).  Give yourself the gift of self-compassion, deeply meant and forged through intention.  In so doing you will have given yourself a gift beyond measure. One that will take you forward into new and beautiful places within yourself and in your life.
 
This may be one of the hardest letters you’ve ever had to write, but it is a necessary step towards unlocking your great potential.  Know you are worth every word.
 
The writing prompts for this letter to yourself were inspired by the completion process from the brilliant minds at Integral Coaching Canada.