I do the right thing at work, even when I know others will judge me for it

Nope...

Janet had one very important item to cover in the project meeting today, but the chair of the meeting was wrapping things up with 10 minutes to go, and everyone looked excited to have time before their next meeting. Janet didn’t even bring her item up because she didn’t want to disappoint or upset anyone.
 
  • Blind Spot:  Being too scared to meet your own needs.
  • Hidden Habit:  Not taking up the “space” you need in meetings to succeed at work.

When it’s safe…         

Janet had one very important item to cover in the project meeting today, but the chair of the meeting was wrapping things up with 10 minutes to go.  Before closing the meeting, the chair asked if there was anything else they needed to cover and Janet weakly offered that she had an item but offered that it could maybe wait until the next meeting if there wasn’t time today…
 
  • Blind Spot:  Being so overly-conscious of what you think others want, you decide for them rather than giving them the opportunity to clearly understand, and met, your needs.
  • Hidden Habit:  Asking for what you need is assertiveness, not aggressiveness, and there is nothing wrong with being assertive when needed (but you need to commit and make a clear request).

For some things...

Janet had one very important item to cover in the project meeting today, but the chair of the meeting was wrapping things up with 10 minutes to go.  Before closing the meeting, the chair asked if there was anything else they needed to cover?  Janet clearly stated that she had an item that couldn’t wait until next week as it was time sensitive, and then outlined the issue amidst rolling eyes and stifled groans.  Hearing people’s response she started speaking more quickly…
 
  • Blind Spot:  Trying to solve a problem you did not create by bowing to the disrespect of others.
  • Hidden Habit: Backing down from what you asked for and need in the face of a challenge.

A lot...

Janet had one very important item to cover in the project meeting today, but the chair of the meeting was wrapping things up with 10 minutes to go.  Before closing the meeting, the chair asked if there was anything else they needed to cover?  Janet clearly stated that she had an item that couldn’t wait until next week as it was time sensitive (there were stifled groans from others), and then offered to summarize it for everyone to see if there was time to cover it today, or if another short meeting should be scheduled tomorrow to allow everyone to weigh in.  Although there were a few eye rolls, her offer of using people’s time wisely and not over-running the allotted meeting time was welcomed and re-energized people’s attention.
 
  • Blind Spot:  You are on the right track!  Don’t forget to ask for the respect you’ve given to others while they were speaking.
  • Hidden Habit: Ignoring micro-aggressions and micro-invalidations in meetings that, while human, will erode the psychological safety of the group.

Yes, always!

Janet had one very important item to cover in the project meeting today, but the chair of the meeting was wrapping things up with 10 minutes to go.  Before closing the meeting, the chair asked if there was anything else they needed to cover?  Janet clearly stated that she had an item that couldn’t wait until next week as it was time sensitive (there were stifled groans from others).  Janet politely asked for the same respect given to others in the meeting before continuing to summarizing her item for everyone to see if there was time, or if another short meeting should be scheduled tomorrow, to allow everyone to weigh in.  There were no further groans and no eye rolls; her offer of using people’s time wisely and not over-running the allotted meeting time was welcomed and re-energized people’s attention.  After the meeting Janet approached the chair to suggest that having an agenda for each of these meetings would be useful to set everyone’s expectations and use their time better so none of the topics, or speakers, were rushed.  The chair agreed.
 
  • Blind Spot:  Way to show initiative! Holding people accountable and making meaningful suggestions that foster real and necessary change feels great, just don’t lose the thread of what you started as you will likely have to give further tactical and emotional support here to see this become a way of working.
  • Hidden Habit:  Your work may have just begun, so stay mindful.  If an agenda is given but not followed, remind the right parties of the intention in making this move in the first place and the win/win it has for everyone if they all do it.