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Moderator

“To Confucius, harmony was consensus, not conformity. It required loyal opposition.”

- Evan Osnos

Download The Moderator Persona
As a Moderator you invest energy and time on listening, facilitating a common view, heading off conflict.  A gifted peacemaker you are of benefit to any team.  You’re committed to both the work and the people, easy-going and productive.  You shrug off public accolades recognizing your work and dread receiving criticism in front of others (even gentle teasing for forgetting your keys…again).  You go along to get along, or mediate agreement to head off disagreement.
Exposure creates compromise when you agree to do something against your better judgment (to keep the peace) and the direction given isn’t reliable, creating perception issues about your work. Quiet and humble, you may be over-looked by others, not consulted or informed about changes impacting your work (being a “wall flower” has it’s drawbacks).  Your friendly nature and need for harmony may be taken advantage of, being tasked with undesirable work because you won’t complain.
When feelings of vulnerability from compromise come home you bury them deep, protecting your home life from problems at work.  Now sensitive to any harsh realities, you avoid conflict with loved ones, refusing to accept that which cries out to be dealt with by becoming absent and withdrawn (the kids are “hangry” and dinner is still just an idea… but you are preoccupied with finding your missing keys).

Free Your Potential...

You strive for belonging and harmony in your life, so much so you place your needs dead last. Making yourself important means you might stick out and this creates discomfort for you.  You don’t even want to fight with your internal critic, who keeps telling you to just go along with what the others want…(she sounds dismissive, tell her to zip it!).  Others misunderstand how you express yourself, saying you are indecisive, which really hurts because you do have opinions, and you express them.  It‘s just too vulnerable for you to signal others when they don’t listen, so you disappear into tasks (yup, I see you hiding out at your desk, keeping so busy you won’t experience how you really feel). 
Aren’t you tired of putting all your energy towards shutting down your feelings and shutting out struggle?  The absent-mindedness you experience is not early menopause – it’s a sign of how deeply you’ve depleted yourself trying to make everything comfortable.  Ensuring things are simple may feel right (keeping the peace at all costs), but in fact you are turning away from your deep potential by compromising the most important element in all of this – you!
This exposes you to the very thing that creates the most chaos in your life – being placed in a compromising position, unworthy of esteem.  Exercise your expertise; correct people, let others hear your strong voice.  They need to see you applying your talents for them to be welcomed, guaranteeing you energy and allowing you to be comfortable in your working life.

Carleen

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  • Work With Carleen
    • About Carleen
    • Career Strategy Session >
      • Get The Most Out Of Your Career Strategy Session
    • Listen Up
    • Coaching Programs >
      • Lead with Impact
      • Career Impact
      • Purpose to Impact
      • Recognize Your Leadership Potential >
        • Welcome to Recognizing Your Leadership Potential
      • Realize Your High Potential
      • The Art of Influence at Work
      • Your Time By Design
      • Assessment
    • Book Me To Speak >
      • Persuasive at Work
      • Workshops That Work >
        • Getting Hybrid Right
        • Leading a Hybrid Team Workshop
        • Communicating Comfortably in a Hybrid Setting Workshop
        • Finding Your Leadership Compass Hybrid Teams Workshop
        • Communicating Comfortably in a Virtual Setting Workshop
        • Career Health Check Workshop
        • Leading in Ambiguity Workshop
        • Accomplishing Work Through Others Workshop
        • My Values Driven Workplace Workshop
        • Leading Teams Virtually Workshop
        • Working Successfully From Home Workshop
        • New Habits for Life Workshop
        • Valued Living Workshop
        • Working Resilience
        • Addressing Conflict Workshop
        • The Many Faces of Unconscious Bias Workshop
        • Building A Culture of Trust Workshop
        • Time Management Workshop
        • Business Intelligence of Empathy Workshop
        • Finding Your Leadership Compass Workshop
        • Foundational Conversations Workshop
        • Conscious Conversations Workshop
        • Leading with Emotional Intelligence Workshop
        • Success in A Mulitgenerational Workforce Workshop
        • Networking in A Digital Age Workshop
        • The Psychology of Decisions Workshop
        • Purpose Driven Feedback Workshop
        • Dynamic Team Communication Workshop
    • Awards
  • Client Stories
  • Blog
  • Testimonials
  • Free Resources
    • Working Life Wellbeing Assessment
    • Hidden Habits Holding You Back
    • Secrets to Boost Your Job Security
    • Working Life Serenity
    • Virtual Influence
    • Hello Monday Videos
    • Career Resources
    • Life Practices >
      • I Feel Angry
      • I Feel Stuck
      • I Am Overwhelmed
      • I Need Self-Compassion
      • Emotions At Work
      • Mindfulness
      • Triggers At Work
      • Naming Emotions
      • I Feel Frustrated
    • Balancing Time Workbook
    • Working Life Persona Quiz
    • Career Health Quiz
    • Healthy Boundaries Quiz
  • Referral Partners
  • Connect