“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened.”
- Friedrich Nietsche
As a Lone Wolf you invest energy and time immersing yourself in solutions. Becoming well informed (even expert) able to work independently no matter the project! You are committed to knowing everything you can about what you are tasked to do, leveraging your vast knowledge. You are happy to sequester yourself from others, even doing their work for them when they are getting in your way of delivering something meaningful (“It’ll be easier if I just do it myself”).
Fluster and compromise comes when others interrupt your intellectual focus; either because they are changing their minds, want to collaborate or just shoot the breeze. Coworkers don’t get to know you very personally and individuals who are not intellectual “pack members” may be treated to silence (or left behind). If impacted continually by unclear objectives, interruptions, or last minute requests, fluster turns to flee as you bury your feelings in anguish and mental sarcasm (“I don’t have enough crayons to explain this to you!”).
When fluster comes home you find ways to be alone so there will be no demands on you for a defined period of time. Your loved ones may not know you slipped in, or may be told you need space, no matter how enthusiastically they greet you (“It’s too peopley in here!”).
Free Your Potential...
Having spent considerable time learning everything about your work and whatever touches it you really are a “human Google” for your team. So when people come to consult with you they are asking the expert…too bad all this ad hoc consultation makes you irritated (I hear you growling). Going deep, analyzing information and being able to use it is an amazing gift, one you enjoy, but all that time working by yourself keeps you from realizing your full potential.
Keeping a low profile means others have no real sense of your depth and experience, and often discount your abilities or don’t think to involve you. It hurts to have your gifts ignored, but then you were the one who opted to distance yourself from some of the pack. No one does well cut off and alone, not even you. People generate emotions in you that are difficult and exhausting, but only when you are trying not to feel them. Stay with those feelings, they will pass (like clouds in the sky); they are a necessary bridge allowing you to connect to others and share energy.
Allowing others to get to know both you and your work, revealing what is going on in that beautiful brain of yours means people will stop sucking energy from you and start giving it back. Being open to a meaningful exchange of information (both personal and work) is the key to meeting your needs; you’ll still have your privacy but when people get to know you better collaboration is less demanding, allowing you to relax into all aspects of your working life.