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  • Work With Carleen
    • About Carleen
    • Assessment
    • Book Me To Speak >
      • Workshops That Work >
        • Getting Hybrid Right
        • Leading a Hybrid Team Workshop
        • Communicating Comfortably in a Hybrid Setting Workshop
        • Finding Your Leadership Compass Hybrid Teams Workshop
        • Communicating Comfortably in a Virtual Setting Workshop
        • Leading in Ambiguity Workshop
        • Accomplishing Work Through Others Workshop
        • My Values Driven Workplace Workshop
        • Working Successfully From Home Workshop
        • Working Resilience
        • The Many Faces of Unconscious Bias Workshop
        • Building A Culture of Trust Workshop
        • Finding Your Leadership Compass Workshop
        • Foundational Conversations Workshop
        • Conscious Conversations Workshop
        • Purpose Driven Feedback Workshop
        • Dynamic Team Communication Workshop
    • Awards
  • Is Coaching Right For You?
  • Client Stories
    • Testimonials
  • Blog
  • The Career Edit
  • Free Resources
    • Working Life Wellbeing Assessment >
      • Working Life Wellbeing Low Risk
    • Life Practices >
      • I Feel Angry
      • I Feel Stuck
      • I Am Overwhelmed
      • I Need Self-Compassion
      • Emotions At Work
      • Mindfulness
      • Triggers At Work
      • Naming Emotions
      • I Feel Frustrated
    • Healthy Boundaries Quiz
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BLOG

Make Today "Someday"

3/21/2020

 
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With extra time on my hands I started going through the hundreds of saved articles, websites and other online resources I meant to get to someday.  There are a wide variety of things that touched me, and many of them have to do with my future. “How To” videos for arts I want to try, recipes I want to make.  Books I want to read, podcasts I’d like to listen to, and courses I want to take…someday I am going to have a really interesting life.

Someday.  But never today.

The realization I’ve been putting off my joy for a very long time landed on my chest heavy and hard; I needed a moment to catch my breath.  How long had I been “saving” things for later?  I went to look; my oldest save was from six years ago.  Discovering how un-thoughtful I have been to myself over the years was very disorienting, and I could sense a shame-bath coming on.  Except I have a great life I am living without regrets, so what did all my digital hoarding mean?

...it was time for more awareness to understand what I really wanted out of my days.

It meant that I was drifting through my life with good intentions, but not fully attuned to my deeper needs and it was time for more awareness to understand what I really wanted out of my days.  I won’t do all of the things I’ve saved for later, but making more time each day for things that feed my soul was definitely what that digital wish-list was all about.

Taking time to gain perspective allows you to plan strategically...

When you lose the thread of how you want to spend your time, you can still have a wonderful life, but that doesn’t mean it fully nourishes you, or evolves with you.  Taking time to gain perspective allows you to plan strategically for your career while making space to include what you want more of in your life.  More books, more nature, more friends, more love.

What do you want more of in life?  What are you waiting for?  Never defer joy, make today someday.

Social Distancing?

Complimentary Career Health Check - March 31st at 2:00 p.m. (ET)

Are you on track in your career?  This one-hour, interactive workshop will guide you through a career health check.  We begin with a quick quiz to illuminate any areas of need, look at possible gaps, and learn how to address them.  This workshop will ensure you have what you need to assess if your career is healthy and ready to leverage your full potential.

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Take Time For Yourself (Social Distancing)

3/18/2020

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I had a very different blog written for today, but the events of the past week (really it has only been a week!) have called on each of us to shift our ways of working and living. I hope you are well and managing to evolve with this circumstance. If you are struggling (as I have from time to time), be kind to yourself; we’ve never seen anything like this in our lifetimes, and we are all learning as we go. There is no right or wrong way to adjust to this, only the opportunity to be present and open to what is needed.

Mid-way through February I needed the world to stop and let me off for a moment. I had so much on my plate (as many of you do) and I wanted to step back and re-group. My heart yearned to catch-up on some things, take some much-needed time to immerse myself in what was important and really sink into it without a clock, without the abrupt call to adhere to a looming deadline.

I got my wish. Clearly, I didn’t wish for COVID 19, but essentially it has granted me the time I was yearning for. All the leadership intensives I was scheduled to run have been postponed, all the workshops and public speaking events I was to lead in March have evaporated in the overwhelming and courageous call to flatten the curve. It is absolutely the right move and I am held by the grace that has seen us all make adjustments quickly. You are all amazing. Take a deep bow, because it is no small act to turn away from routine and embrace something unknown. 

So, I have my wish. I have more time on my hands. Do you remember making a similar wish at some point? While things are uncertain, and we have more to face that is unknown, see if you can re-frame this time as a gift. More time to relax, to read, to do all the things on your wish list that needed time to get to. Start on that pile of books you have beside your bed; listen to all the podcasts you’ve saved. Take more bubble baths. Write letters to people you love and mail them. Reorganize your hard drive, or your closet, or your life. Get to that chunky piece of focus work you have been yearning to get your hands on and can now immerse yourself in off-line because the VPN is not cooperating at work.

Think about that list, that ache, that need you sometimes have to step into what you want to do gently, slowly, on your own terms with purpose and let that sustain you over the coming weeks. This too shall pass, and all too soon we’ll be right back into the thick of deadlines, too many meetings, ridiculous commutes…back to “normal”.

While I am social distancing, I am still working and coaching via virtual sessions (call or video conference).  If you would like to take this time to explore what coaching can do for you, a single coaching session is free of charge.  We are all in this together.

Book a Free Exploration Call
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Saying "Yes" While Saying "No"

3/6/2020

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Your time and needs are important. So is learning to advocate for them through voicing what is, and is not, possible during busy periods in your work and life. Balancing saying “yes” and “no” is all about using your voice to help others understand you care, but have commitments you’ve made that are also important (which includes your own well-being).

"Which of your needs are you ignoring by
taking more on?"

Doing things is a comfort zone, that’s why often those who are the busiest tend to take on more. Being busy, being needed, can feel good even if it makes life difficult. This may be happening in your work life, or your home life, or both. Check in, what compels you to say “yes”? What need of yours is being met by saying “yes”? Which of your needs are you ignoring by taking more on? Is saying “yes” an impulse, or a well thought out response?

"You can say “yes” to someone else’s need while saying “no” to taking on more work."

You can say “yes” to someone else’s need (your boss, a co-worker or a family member) while saying “no” to taking on more work. Begin by acknowledging this other person’s/team’s need and its importance, then contextualize why taking on more work now isn’t going to get them the results they are looking for. “This is such a good initiative, and I would like to help. Right now, I am on a tight deadline to complete a key priority, and I can’t do justice to your request…”

"What you don’t have to do, is share your
reasons for saying “no”."

You can also ask for time before committing to a request, especially if your gut is saying “No, no, no, no NOOOOO.” “I hear your need for an extra set of hands on this, and I am appreciative that you thought of me as the right person for it, but I am currently tasked by others with items that have competing deadlines and will need to see if adding this work is feasible, as I don’t want to commit and not deliver. Can I get back to you tomorrow?” You may want to help, or you may already know there is no way to do this new work. In asking for more time it gives both you and the person making the request the space to consider options, which may include a compromise on their deadline or the scope of work you take on. You may also find when you go back to let them know what’s feasible, they have another solution that doesn’t mean more work for you.

It is OK to say “no” to work because you need to be home on time this week, or meet your own commitments to your needs. What you don’t have to do, is share your reasons for saying “no”. If you have already framed your “no” by referencing current workload, priorities and deadlines, then let that stand as your reason for not taking on more work. They don’t need to know it’s because you’ve planned a well-deserved relaxing night off.
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