We have a comfort crisis in our organizations.
 
We’re not having the kinds of conversations at work that bring out the best in our collective performance.  We’re not having them with our employees, our bosses, or each other.  Surprisingly, these are not the conversations highlighting positive reinforcement – those are very needed as well (keep having them) – but they don’t move the needle in the same way deep, disruptive, made-you-think conversations and feedback do.  We are having fewer and fewer of these necessary conversations at work.  
 
Why?  Because it’s uncomfortable.
 
Social media fills our heads with the many achievable ways we can craft our lives to meet not just our needs, but overcome vulnerability; attending to our desired level of emotional and physical comfort.  The perfect 15-minute work-out for your body type (because 30 minutes might take too long).  The best way to organize your home based on your life style (so everything is in finger-tip reach).  I can have meals delivered to my door that make me feel I’m living my best life without the distress of learning how to cook them (or at the very least, having to shop for the ingredients).
 
We now have ways to make our lives predictably comfortable in many dimensions.  There is a “hack” for everything; there’s no need to suffer a moment of unnecessary discomfort. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating anyone deny themselves pleasure in life, we need it (now more than ever).  But somewhere along the way we (as a society) decided that feeling vulnerable, uncomfortable or unsettled was “bad” and to be avoided.  This is having an adverse effect on employee experience, AND organizational performance.
 
In our workplaces, there is now an unmistakable aversion to disrupting the thinking of others (or ourselves).  We value comfort so much that we don’t initiate the constructive, disruptive conversations needed to ensure our teams and organizations are high-functioning.  Yet, without this valuable skill, teams and organizations are at risk of group-think, mediocrity and stale judgement.  And that deeply impacts individual performance as well as the performance of teams… all of which hit the bottom line of company performance in hidden, but intrusive ($$$), ways.
 
What exactly does this call on us to do more, and less, of at work (particularly as leaders)?  Here’s a list to get you started (it’s not exhaustive – add to it based on your experience):
 
DO:

• Discuss with others when these types of disruptive conversations need to happen, how you want to work within them, and how they can increase empowerment and performance for everyone – preparing people’s expectations and setting up reliable ways of making this work.
• Talk about how to get more comfortable with being uncomfortable in discussions that foster debate and healthy conflict at work.  This includes providing opposing points of view and constructive feedback, along with asking powerful questions.
• Regularly open the floor to other perspectives, points of view and experience on your team; allow for debate, disagreement and discussion with an openness to a thorough exchange of ideas.
• Ask powerful questions about why the work being done is important now; ask why this decision is the right decision, and no other decision, relating to this work. 
• Draw awareness to the impact having willing, consistent, disruptive conversations at work has on performance (individual, team, and ultimately the impact of the organization).

 
DON’T:

• Use disruption and discomfort as a licence to interrupt others when speaking; deliberately interrupting others invited to an open conversation is a microaggression (when you are not the chairperson guiding focus and time).  This non-inclusive approach to work impacts psychological safety, and ultimately trust, on teams.
• Push forward your “agenda” or “campaign” for a particular approach or outcome.  That’s a version of “trough leadership” where everyone needs to follow in the wake of the leader (thought leader, or people leader); it assumes the leader has to “break ground” before anyone else can travel it – stifling all empowerment, experience and resourcefulness.
• Signal you’re open to healthy conflict, and then take it personally, breaking trust in having any kind of debate or feedback (and in you/your leadership).
• Belittle ideas and options tabled in an open conversation – not all the items brought forward will be brilliant, and there’s a learning curve to having these debates; be compassionate and (if needed) provide feedback in private to strengthen another’s abilities in this field.
• Exclude certain people from these types of conversations because you don’t like what they have to say.  Opposing points of view will do more to hone the decisions and actions you do end up taking, if for no other reason than you stress-tested all the options possible.
• Drive others into these types of group conversations unwillingly.  There is a readiness factor to being able to do this in a group.  In addition to continuing to explore how best to have healthy debate at a group level (to increase readiness and trust), take these kinds of conversations one-on-one to build people’s awareness of the benefits (and prove that they can happen with no “collateral damage” to careers).

 
Contrary to belief, open conversations that invite debate don’t take that long (5-10 minutes is usually all it takes).  But it does take courage, and this is perhaps where we lose heart in doing this more consistently in our organizations today.  People doubt their own ability to debate well (and not make a career-limiting move or create personal conflict).  When it’s not modeled for them by their leaders, or believed to have useful impact to the organization, then it’s just too risky to try.
 
Stepping purposefully into constructive discomfort is a skill.  One that is needed at every level in our organizations today.  How are your skills progressing in this area?  What are the benefits to your career, and organization, in getting a little less comfortable?

“I’m languishing!” was the clear concern expressed by a frustrated professional. “I know I can do more at work, how do I make that happen?"
 
It’s a great question to explore.
 
Many professionals are feeling the pinch of pandemic workplaces; work is more isolated and you don’t get the exposure to meet new people or learn about new projects that may interest you.  As another professional put it: “You can practically feel your brain cells shrivelling up”.
 
As much as your manager wants to help, they may be in the same boat, with neither the time nor the occasion to look beyond the work today.
 
Don’t leave your potential on the shelf.  Your actions and expertise are what got you where you are today, and they can take you even further; you just need a plan to turn your amazing potential into your dream career. So, let’s do it:

• Step One | Get a Clear Picture.  Knowing your strengths, and your areas for development, provides insight you can use to keep sharpening your skill set.  Your performance reviews, asking others for their candid feedback, are all ways to collect this vital perspective.  But don’t stop there.  Self-awareness is key to being a trusted ally to others in your work and is something only you can own.  Taking an assessment to better understand your perspective can illuminate potential blind spots and biases that may hold back your amazing potential.  Don’t wait for your organization to offer this service, pursue it on your own from a reputable career coach or development company; once you’ve found an assessment you like you can always ask if your employer will cover it (and if they won’t, pursue it anyway – this type of development pays for itself in new career opportunities, over 80% of my assessment clients are offered a next-level opportunity within about 18 months of completing their coaching program).

 

• Step Two | Modern Networking.  I know this is a tough one for many in the pandemic, but keep reading, this is really important.  Building relationships outside of your current team/department is key to learning about all the interesting things your organization is doing, and seeing how your expertise can help.  As with any relationship, you need to build trust before you can use it.  The good news is you can start anytime and it doesn’t have to be time consuming.  An easy way to do this is to look at the org chart (or employee directory) and see who’s work interests you or touches on your work, and make a note of their names. Reach out with a succinct e-mail, inviting these individuals to share what they do.  This doesn’t have to be time consuming and it puts your name out there in all the best ways (wouldn’t you be flattered to receive an e-mail like this one?):
  
  ​“Hi Sajid, I’ve been learning more about the way our company does business and your job plays a key part.  I’d like to learn more about what you do, and how our work may cross-over.  Do you have time on Tuesday for a quick 20-minute coffee chat?” 
  
  
• Step Three | Demonstrate Your Quality.  There’s a theme emerging here and it’s all about being the kind of person who can build trust across different roles and personality types.  The simplest way to do that is to honor your commitments, communicate with integrity and give people every opportunity to experience your amazing potential.  Potential isn’t just about your expertise (knowledge, skills, etc.) but the way you handle yourself; the way you include others, how you work with conflict, demonstrate empathy and the way you hold healthy boundaries that respect yourself and others. When co-workers feel safe working with you, trusting you with key relationships, your career will go places.

 

• Step Four | Be Courageous and Commit.  Putting yourself out there requires courage.  It’s tough asking for other people’s time, staying with difficult conversations, highlighting your strengths and natural abilities… all the while plugging away at work that doesn’t exactly light you up.  Yet, courage is what sets the professionals who go after their dream career from the ones that are waiting for the dream to find them.  

 
If you can tell you’re languishing at work, you have all the info you need to take courageous action to get you on the path to work you deserve. Languishing has another hallmark:  playing it safe.  
 
If you’ve been keeping a low profile, working hard and hoping to get noticed, forget it.  In today’s modern workplace it’s not enough.  Nor it is enough to make skillful requests of your manager and wait for them to happen.  You need to actively participate in your career relevance at work, and that means engaging all of that amazing potential you have, taking it off the shelf and putting it to work for you.
 
You’ve got the plan – it’s your move.

“This would be a very bad time to lose my job.” was the opening statement from a previous client.  Supply chain issues in their industry were making them very nervous.  That and they saw friends and family impacted by temporary shut-downs, if not out-right business closures.
 
It’s every professional’s worst nightmare.
 
Maybe you’re feeling vulnerable in your job too. We’re all watching (with great curiosity and concern) what’s happening around us.  While individually we may have zero control over pandemics, inflation, markets, etc. it’s important to understand what you do control – you.
 
Your impact at work helps to keep your organization healthy, and healthy organizations are much more resilient in the face of wide-spread challenges.  The way you carry yourself at work when things get stressful also influences your relevance to your employer; being open to new things, working well with conflict, keeping a professional demeanor and being a productive part of the team, all point to how irreplaceable you are.
 
Being relevant is key to surviving cut-backs. Here are 7 things in your control that increase your relevance and job security:

• Build Open Communication Channels.  Setting the expectation with your boss (and others) that you’ll have questions and want to discuss influences on the organization means no one is surprised when you do this.  Doing this consistently means you keep the information flow open and can get in front of issues impacting your work.  Doing it with emotional intelligence means becoming a trusted advisor who delivers (successfully re-setting expectations when things go pear shaped).
  
  
• Know What Matters.  This sounds straight forward, but is quite layered.  You need to know what matters to your organization (and why), but also what matters to your boss, and to their boss, etc. (and to you).  As an example, your organization might be results driven, BUT your manager is deadline driven (and you are quality driven).  You’ll need to keep all this in mind in the execution of your work.  Being aware of what matters helps you to communicate with more influence and precision, getting the right things done, in the right ways (especially when deadlines may need to flex to get quality results).
  
  
• Deliver Well.  This is all part of building trust and is good common sense.  You can’t just talk a good game; you need to provide the outcomes you promise in your work, and do so in an inclusive way that doesn’t throw anyone else “under the bus”.  If you know something is just not possible, re-set expectations without drama and finger pointing (see item no. 1), or your reputation goes down in flames (even if you meet your commitments).  You can’t just deliver; you need to deliver well.
  
  
• Be Visible.  Visibility doesn’t mean being at work before your boss, and working long hours all the time (that was the ‘90’s, businesses have moved on).  It means being well-read and having a good grip on your industry, clients, the market, internal processes, etc. With knowledge comes awareness you can share, either directly or by asking insightful questions that make others think more deeply about what (or how) they make decisions. Visibility increases influence, so be prepared to add your voice in meetings, and generously share with others what you’re a learning and seeing at work.
  
  
• Use & Grow Expertise.  Being good at your job is not enough to save you from an economic layoff.  Being indispensable is a game-changer.  When you are known to be a subject-matter-expert on things that are key to the business, you have more staying power.  This means putting yourself out there, being visible, respected and making contacts (yup, networking) to gain useful knowledge and insights that make you AND your boss look good.
  ​
• Support Others.  Part of becoming visible, considered an expert, etc. is being there for others.  When you freely offer your support to others (sharing knowledge, lessons learned, even articles, cheat sheets, etc.) they will do so in turn.  They’ll also return your texts and take your calls (in a busy environment that is everything).  Support also means you’ll build a reputation for being a team player who is well respected across the organization, and those types of employees are the ones managers go out of their way to “save” if the lay-off axe is falling.
  
  
• Be Flexible.  Flexibility is what’s called for when an organization needs to make cuts to its workforce.  The work doesn’t disappear, it gets “re-distributed” and employees who are known to take change in stride and be resilient in the face of a challenge are the kind organizations need most when they have to make unforeseen changes. Being known for your flexibility will go a long way towards seeing you through a decision-making process (i.e., who goes and who stays) that is all about having to do things differently going forward.

 
Kindness, respect, generosity and strong communication skills ensure you stand out in all the right ways with your employer.  There are of course no guarantees, but all of the things on this list also make you a star candidate if you do get laid off (or decide to make a move).
 
Don’t let fear erode your self-confidence. You’ve survived 100% of your worst days and you are a credit to your profession.

Ever felt like you were about to lose your cool at work because of a decision your boss was making?
 
That’s exactly what my client was experiencing, and she’d reached out just in case she ended up losing it (her cool and her job).  I’d helped her with career transition in the past, but what she didn’t know when she called was that I would help her keep her job AND disagree with her boss too.
 
Every professional has a “line in the sand” that cannot be crossed. Many don’t know what to do when, inevitably, even the most well-intentioned boss crosses it.  Whether it’s interrupting you when you have the floor in a meeting, constantly reversing positions on an urgent issue, or making a short-sighted decision that has inescapable future risks (only you can see) there will be times when you need to disagree with your boss.
 
Here’s why.  In today’s modern organizations, professionals have more insight supporting business impact than at any other point in history.  Flat, agile organizations rely on both hard data and experienced insight, because with the pace of today’s workplaces your boss no longer knows all the same things you do (like they would have in the 1960’s).  Sure, your boss may have more years under their belt, but by mid-career most professionals are in roles where your organization relies on your professional acumen, bringing different perspectives and information to the table that are specific to your unique field of view in the organization.  So, one of your unenviable tasks is to disagree with your boss as a way to strengthen organizational decision making on key issues.
 
Or, as my client put it, you need to “poke the bear”.  Here’s how do that and live to see your career flourish.

• Build what you need before you need it.  There is an alarming belief that being “good” at work means you never sponsor disagreement or conflict.  Conflict has a bad rap, but it’s vital to organizational performance and your career, but not the unprofessional drama-based conflict that comes to mind.  This is the professional, sometimes heated debate, that is needed to deeply explore issues and options that may not be popular or carry a higher element of risk (i.e., healthy conflict). Before you have one of these conversations you need to build the expectation with your boss that they will happen. Have discussions about your way forward in a disagreement (including how no one will take them personally) so this debate can benefit your boss, organization, and ultimately your career future.
  
  “Remember that series of conversations we had a few months back about not always being in a position to agree with each other?  I have a different perspective on the decision you’re making, and I’d like you to hear me out so we can look at options we may not have considered, but could move us closer to the result we all need with less cost…”

 

• Start with the common goal.  The cornerstone of disagreeing professionally is demonstrating your intention to honour what you both share; specifically, stating the outcome, impact or result you know your boss (and the organization) needs.  Signalling that clearly before you go into alternate options, benefits or highlighting risks does two key things; one, it de-personalizes your critique of your boss’s approach and two, it gives you a window to work in based on “the benefit of the doubt”.  While your boss may not initially agree with your opinion, they will give you more time to explain your position if they’re assured it’s in service to getting to a place they want to go.
  
  “We know this project needs to be a success.  Specifically, we need to meet all our new client’s expectations, while lowering our cost for delivering this work – our reputation is riding on this.  My team has come up with a way we can move our margins from 5% to 12% on this project.  This could be achieved by rethinking…”

 

• Respect.  Respect. Respect.  You need to trust yourself to both have made the right call AND communicate with integrity which, includes demonstrating respect for you and your boss.  This means: your words, tone of voice and body language need to match your intention (and certainty) in bringing this contentious issue/idea forward.  This also signals your goal is not unhealthy conflict (or undermining your boss), but clarity on viable options that support everyone’s ongoing success at work.  You can’t do that if you don’t respect yourself AND your boss… and have been consistent in demonstrating that respect before a disagreement pops up.
  
  “I respect your concern around the time it will take to do this.  There is a greater risk we’ll slip our current deadline with this approach.  That said, the intention here is to find cost savings that won’t impact our delivery - if we ask the client now for a one-week extension to our initial deadline, we’ll realize these cost savings with no risk to our quality and reputation.”

 

• Earned Trust.  Your boss needs to trust you in order to entertain the idea of having healthy debate and disagreement as a natural part of your ways of working.  For that you need to earn their trust, and vice-versa.  Keep in mind, you don’t need to like your boss to trust that they will listen when it’s in their best interests to do so. You also don’t need to be liked to be considered reliable, informed and trustworthy.  You simply need to be consistent in your respect and intentions not just for what you do, but how you do it.  That’s why asking for the opportunity to disagree with your boss is key, but so is giving your boss every reason to give that opportunity to you.

 
My client was able to disagree with her boss and thrive.  She invested in a tight and timely mini-coaching program (over just a few days) where she built the confidence and awareness she needed to get in front of her boss, and respectfully disagree with their position.  She’ll tell you it was far from perfect, but because she maintained her conviction and open-ness to healthy debate, she communicated with respect, influencing a far better outcome then the original one her boss was heading towards.
 
And, she received a promotion out of it.  Not immediately, but within the year she became the boss.  Not an outcome she was expecting when she called me out of concern for her career’s future.
 
You don’t have to face all your career challenges alone; coaching can be strategic, timely and (best of all), pay for itself.

January 2022 is looking a lot like January 2021, and I honestly didn’t see that coming.  I figured by this time we’d be emerging from the pandemic in small but clear ways, not back in lock-down supporting on-line learning at home for our kids.  
 
It just goes to show that plans don’t always go to, well …plan.
 
So, the name of the game for 2022 is resilience.  Resilience (our ability to recover from set-backs and challenges) is what will get things done.
 
At this time of year, I get the heebie jeebies from headlines like “Change your life in 10 days!” or “Make this the year you have it all!”.  These click-bait articles usual herald a rigid plan (often starting with getting up at 5AM and drinking LOTS of water) to help meet your goals.
 
But you and I already know that if we plan for something and stick to it, we’ll get there (regardless of our H2o consumption or waking hours).  Yet, I still sometimes get sucked down the rabbit hole of headline promises, hoping this is THE article that will change some annoying aspect of my life!
 
The reality is, I’m not going to stick to someone else’s plan for my life, no matter how good the advice is because advice is completely absent of context, circumstance and challenge.  Advice is the “best case” scenario.  Advice does not offer resilience.  The only person who can bring that vital ingredient (resilience) into the mix is me.
 
So, here are four crucial tips to cancel uncertainty and build energy for whatever you have planned for your career in 2022:

• Know Why Your Goal is Important.  This seems obvious, but it’s also nuanced, so stick with me here.  Goals that are based on “flaw” or “lack” (like some weight loss goals, as an example) start you off from a position of needing to “fix” something about you (let me say you are fabulous just the way you are).  Set goals that are important to you and based on something other than “fix”.  Your “why” forms the foundation that keeps you motivated and resilient in your pursuit of something that is important to you, while building on your already amazing skills.  Know why you’re choosing to put your precious energy and time into THIS GOAL.  Visualize how this goal will make a difference (to you and to others) but never lose sight of why it’s important to you.

 

• Anticipate Emotions.  Anytime you endeavour to make a change, there is an emotional roller-coaster that comes with it (this is not an exaggeration, keep in mind it can be a quiet “inside-voice” roller-coaster).  You experience a “fist-pumping” high when you nail it, and a stomach-churning low when you crash it.  You’re going to do both because learning doesn’t happen in a nice, straight, line (remember learning to ride a bike, or understanding Excel?).  Learning happens by making mistakes and figuring out what went wrong; for you to be able to do that (without giving up) be prepared to pick yourself back up from what feels like failure, but is really only a set-back. Name the unwelcome emotion, take it out for coffee and figure out why it’s visiting you.  You’ll find resilience in this conversation, and the courage to keep going. 

 

• Small Steps Please!  Your goal is likely made up of a number of tasks or steps – the “DNA” of new habits. Take a few minutes to identify what those smaller steps are and commit to take this one step at a time (if you can’t see them all yet, just identify the ones you can see).  Any goal worth pursuing is not going to be aced over-night, and New Year’s Resolutions (career goals in general) tend to be larger in scope and impact. Remember why this is important, visualize how this goal will make a difference (to you and to others) and then break it down into manageable chunks.  Remember, the pyramids were built one block at a time (and they are a symbol of resilience – the only ancient wonder of the world still standing today).

 

• Share & Celebrate.  This one also seems obvious but I’m telling you most humans don’t do this enough (feels like bragging or something, we’re really weird about it).  When you accomplish something, no matter how small the step, tell someone.  Help them understand the relevance of your accomplishment by sharing why the overall goal is important to you (your “why”).  Anticipate celebration, what will your celebration ritual be?  If you know what it is in advance you will be more motivated to keep going.  As an example, I have a hobby, so when I accomplish something in my work and career that is goal-related I allow myself to buy a completely useless, but oh-so-satisfying something that supports my hobby.  Decadent, maybe.  Yet, it supports my ability to re-charge - that’s what I call a “win/win”.

 
I think if all of us knew exactly how long the effects of the pandemic would have on our lives we’d be much better able to handle the ups and downs, but that’s the thing, none of us have ever lived through a pandemic before.  We don’t know what to expect.  It’s the same when you set a new goal for yourself.  Being resilient means you leave space for both the best- and worst-case scenarios, empowering you to make your goals happen, even in the middle of a pandemic.
 
You.  Will.  Get.  There.  I can feel it.  Can you?