Saying "Yes" While Saying "No"

Your time and needs are important. So is learning to advocate for them through voicing what is, and is not, possible during busy periods in your work and life. Balancing saying “yes” and “no” is all about using your voice to help others understand you care, but have commitments you’ve made that are also important (which includes your own well-being).

"Which of your needs are you ignoring by
taking more on?"

Doing things is a comfort zone, that’s why often those who are the busiest tend to take on more. Being busy, being needed, can feel good even if it makes life difficult. This may be happening in your work life, or your home life, or both. Check in, what compels you to say “yes”? What need of yours is being met by saying “yes”? Which of your needs are you ignoring by taking more on? Is saying “yes” an impulse, or a well thought out response?

"You can say “yes” to someone else’s need while saying “no” to taking on more work."

You can say “yes” to someone else’s need (your boss, a co-worker or a family member) while saying “no” to taking on more work. Begin by acknowledging this other person’s/team’s need and its importance, then contextualize why taking on more work now isn’t going to get them the results they are looking for. “This is such a good initiative, and I would like to help. Right now, I am on a tight deadline to complete a key priority, and I can’t do justice to your request…”

"What you don’t have to do, is share your
reasons for saying “no”."

You can also ask for time before committing to a request, especially if your gut is saying “No, no, no, no NOOOOO.” “I hear your need for an extra set of hands on this, and I am appreciative that you thought of me as the right person for it, but I am currently tasked by others with items that have competing deadlines and will need to see if adding this work is feasible, as I don’t want to commit and not deliver. Can I get back to you tomorrow?” You may want to help, or you may already know there is no way to do this new work. In asking for more time it gives both you and the person making the request the space to consider options, which may include a compromise on their deadline or the scope of work you take on. You may also find when you go back to let them know what’s feasible, they have another solution that doesn’t mean more work for you.

It is OK to say “no” to work because you need to be home on time this week, or meet your own commitments to your needs. What you don’t have to do, is share your reasons for saying “no”. If you have already framed your “no” by referencing current workload, priorities and deadlines, then let that stand as your reason for not taking on more work. They don’t need to know it’s because you’ve planned a well-deserved relaxing night off.